I am a subhuman

Hi all I got MS and as time progresses I feel more and more like a sub human. Fighting for everything. Fighting to get benefits. Fighting to be ok. I’ve recently started online dating. I was in a 6-year relationship unTil last June. We were together when I was diagnosed. I offered him an out when I got diagnosed and he didn’t take it. Fast forward to break up and he told me he wished he had. Since then I’ve been single and I’m so lonely. I’ve been here on my own for four months in lockdown so I thought I’d try online dating. I get a lot of ‘likes’ and when I respond, nothing. I put in my profile that I have MS - I don’t go into details. I’m sure that as soon as they read that, they are put off. The couple of guys I have ended up chatting to have cancelled dates on me. I was meant to be meeting someone tomorrow and guess what, he cancelled. I think the reality of my condition puts people off. Nobody wants a girlfriend who can’t go for a walk. I’m 35 and my life has been taken. I don’t know how to go on. Every nugget of hope gets dashed.

You could weed out all the men who might be put off by the mention of MS if you used a dating website for people with disabilities.

You will automatically have that much in common to begin with.

Been there, done that. If you are on a certain dating site concerning “fish” I reckon they put in “likes” to encourage people to contact each other. I have been on it for a while and get a lot of insults about why I should be on a site for folk like me. whatever that is. But, there are a lot of good people on these sites as well so, it may take a bit of time, but I’m sure you will find someone who deserves you. Just don’t put yourself down or give up coz the right guy may be looking just for you.x

I don’t want to go it with anyone with a disability and also I don’t want to be the first thing about me that is known. I’m so so much more than my disability

Hi Tingly Badger

can’t imagine a worse time to find yourself single, with lockdown going on.

but you will survive and come out stronger.

when i was 15 in the seventies, i used to collect badges for my jacket.

there was one that said “A Woman Needs a Man like a Fish needs a Bicycle”.

(who knows what a fish needs?)

anyway I hope you connect with someone and I hope he is a good one.

Carole x

The trouble is that while you want to be open and honest from the outset, you can actually understand why a man might have second thoughts about starting a relationship with a person with MS. After all Tingly, you ‘don’t want to go out with anyone with a disability’ either.

It’s a tough one. I agree with Carole, it’s a difficult time to be single, with CV19, Lockdown and all those challenges to overcome.

I’m sure that there are men who can see past the MS label to the person underneath. And let’s face it, that’s the kind of man you want.

Meanwhile you are not subhuman. You are a decent person who just wants to meet someone right for you. Hopefully you’ll find him soon.


Just a suggestion but…would it be wrong NOT to put your disability on your profile?

Tell me I`m wrong but just wondered…maybe get to know someone a bit and then tell them…dunno?

Maybe that way, you would find how decent someone is…again…dunno


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