why is Dating such a work up, as soon as I tell any lady even after t alking fa weeks, I hear nothing again,
aia’m still human and fully functional, I even use the gym lots…Ho hum
tell them nothin jamsie,
Do think you do have to tell…the right one will hang on…as they say you have to kiss alot of frogs…am sure it works both ways…I was only going out wiith my present husband 10 months when I was diagnosed…it sure laid everything very bare!
My recent and earlier experiences - it’s the last you’ll hear of them once you’ve told them. It’s one of the reasons I never used to say anything up front, and the reason why I never will.
M
I had been with my partner for about a year when i was dx, the very next day he was gone.
kim xx
I know the feeling!! I would love to meet somone, i put myself on a dating site, and had many interests until i said i had ms? I cant not tell people i have ms cause, sooner or later they will know, especially when there profile says, love to go on long walks lol lol. Me too if they give a piggy back lollll
i would love to meet someone too, but who would have me? and i feel like i don’t have much too offer anymore. love Bex xxx
Hi all, arent there any dating sites for disabled? I think I saw a tv prog about the subject some time ago…?
luv Pollx
Hi…dont give up!!!..
David told me on our second date that he had MS …actually I was relieved as he said he had to tell me something important and that I would probably do a “runner”…thought he was going to say he was still married, got more kids than he’d mentioned or all sorts going through my imagination!
maybe dont reveal on a first date , but personally I respected his honesty and did a lot of research on the internet and got involved with his appointments etc.
David asked me to marry him within about 6 months but I wasnt ready to comitt…not because of his MS but due to a general fear of not ever wanting to marry again.
Been through a lot together with medication problems and other things, but after 4 years of commuting 300 miles every weekend we did marry (2 years now!) and I moved to Kent. Now in secondary progressive and needing a lot of care, but still megahappy together!
There will be someone special out there for you…for me his personality and positive outlook won me round…so keep smiling, and get out there! Ps we met online dating site Love and Friends , we both had no sense of geography not realising how far it is fom Kent coast to Oxford…love finds wings I think!
Kate x
A lovley story Kate. Thanks for sharing it with us and i hope it gives someone inspiration.
luv Pollx
I agree with Kate don’t give up I met my husband (of 2years tommorow) 10 years ago through a school re-union, I told him then of my MS and he’s been nothing but a tower of strength to me and my two kids. Funny old thing is we have known each other since we were 4 years old when we went to nursery together all the way through to high school. He moved away when he was 17 and it was the school re-union that brought us together 
xx
I agree don’t give up! Shortly after I was diagnosed I left my partner of 7 years as it made me realise that I needed to be happy and supported and I just wasn’t. I spent some time on a dating website (match) and met a few trolls before I found the most supportive and fabulous guy. We’ve now been together for 17months and have never been so happy. I revealed all about 3 weeks in as it had all been weighing on my mind that I should get it out in the open but was terrified of doing so after previous reactions and as it was all still very new to me. His response was that he was glad I felt I could tell him and we have never looked back. He has been there for me through symptoms, hospital stays, a hellish work situation and the resulting depression and anxiety that followed. The right hunky specimen of loveliness will be out there somewhere
if you find the right one she will stick with you regardles. Me and my girfreind had been together days when i went into hospital with my first relapse and for some strangre reason she stuck with me. She delt with all the depresion that went with my DX and so on. At the time i was also a drug addict aswell and yet she still wasnt detered and nearly 3 years on we are still together ok she has changed me a bit lol but nothing too drastic she helped me kick the drugs and start to work out who i am again. Just get back on the horse and keep trying im sure you will find your self some one worth your time and effort james
Poll- I like the disabled dating idea. I went to local meetings of MS for a while, but found them terribly depressing and stopped going. Desperate for a bit of social life, I joined the Naturalists’ group. This was OK if I could get transport to meetings, but most of them were outdoors, and involved walking. Any potential friends are soon put off when you can’t keep up with them, or have to cancel trips out due to feeling awful on the planned day. My last “boyfriend” was the outdoor type, as I used to be, and soon got sick of my inability to go where he could. I know “disabled” is a dirty word these (politically correct) days, but you can’t get away from the fact that you are “different” from most people who can walk, drive and do things on the spur of the moment. My neighbour says it isn’t a good idea to mix with other “disabled” people, but they’re the only ones who understand the limitations put on you by MS. This site is great for that reason and I really can’t cope with another relationship, so would it be possible to have a general thread just for friendship? It seems you have to be expressing an opinion on something to post. I’d like a thread where you could just say hi to people every morning.
Hi, we used to have a penpals board, before the new system was introduced.
But you know, you can pm people and make buddies. I`ve added you to my list.
Im on here most days if you wanna say good morning, Ill be happy to reply.
luv Pollx
Thanks, Poll. Would love that. x
Greetings,and may the Festive Season not have wrought too much damage on body,soul and purse.I’m by myself momentarily,which is arrogant,but HAS to be the attitude.I’m still signed up to a big free dating site for ‘normals’. In six months seven girls contacted me,I met three and the fourth met me and…They were all poorly in one way or another and seemed to gravitate to me,because they hadn’t told the truth on their profiles,and weren’t doing well with the predatory, low-life ‘gentlemen’ on the site
I’m also on a Disabled Dating Site.It is the biggest in the country and is appaling.I don’t want an introduction to a twenty something year old girl of ‘adjustable morals’ whose address is Heathrow Airport.If I had a few bob and some help, there would be a way of organising a dating with humans in the loop,and not just a server matching groups of data.
The MS Society got rid of the Pen Pals through over-rigorous application of SOVA(safeguarding of vulnerable adults) and confidentiality issues through the fear of a stalker meeting somebody,and …So we’re kept safe through marginalisation by the Society that is about improving the quality of life of the clientelle.
Wb
I with the majority - do not give up! I met my husband (got married last November) 5 years ago, in a nightclub and he told me there and then he had M.S. I didnt know what it was so didnt even think about researching it until we had been dating for a while and we knew that it was a relationship that was going somewhere.
You can never underestimate peoples fear of the “unknown” and people do one thing when scared - run. no, it didnt phase me when he told me that night we met he had it but I didnt know what MS was then (believe me - I now know as I was diagnosed with MS 2 years after I met him - neuro defo confirmed it wasnt catching, just a bizarre coinsidence!!!)
I just believe some people are never in the right place to accept something that is or could be in the future, a path that they didnt think they would ever go down. And - I dont want this to sound harsh - but better be if they cant handle it they go straight away rather than leading someone on and truly hurting them. The ones that have left a loving long term relationship because of diagnosis is a completely different story tho.
People who cant see beyond an illness, disability, colour or race or whatever are not worth your thoughts, time or energy in my opinion. For all I know (as i didnt know him pre-diagnosis) my hubbys MS may be the thing that has made him into the strong tolerant, loving and accepting man that he is today. Or maybe he was just that perfect from the start.
I am truly a great believer in fate - and I do believe that there is someone for everyone.
I see this has all been said before - but I like to get my 2 pence worth in!!!
Wb - the Ileostomy Association forums that I spend a lot of time on have very strict rules about their “Chit-chat” sites, one of them being that meetings with other members are organised outside the site. Anything vaguely resembling “flame-bait” is jumped upon almost immediately by the moderators, who often remind posters that children and other vulnerable people may be looking in. You can, however, go on several different threads without having to have any specific topic to discuss. We rarely get weirdos on the site, and if we do, they don’t last long!
I’d been married for 10 years. Still crumbled when dx