Having had no previous symptoms or signs of MS and having always been very sporty and active, i woke up last July basically paralysed down my right side and had lost my speech.
I spent 3 months continuously in hospital during what was the scariest time of my life. Im still scared and worried now, especially about the future and what it will bring. It is the unknown which is most hard to deal with.
Fortunately i have now regained the ability to walk, use my right hand to about 70% of it’s capability and can talk again. The thing i struggle with now is loneliness and worry about finding ‘the one’ since my diagnosis.
Before this happened i was looking for a girlfriend and now i’m worried i will never find anyone to accept me for who i am. Im so lonely and am worried that is going to be the case forever.
I live in the South West of England and want to meet someone and share my life with…
Let it just happen naturally and don’t worry too much. I totally understand the frustration though, I spent my entire life hoping to find someone and settle down, when I had so many disabilities and illnesses. It did happen eventually I realised there was someone living on my doorstep and just bumped into him just when I had given up looking. It does happen like that. When you least expect it.
Just talking and making good friends with people on here is a good start. Ive always told myself, the best things come to those who wait. And it really does.
In case you do want to try meeting like minded people via dating, there are free dating websites for disabled. I’ve used it in the past, and met some lovely great people. Dating4disabled, disabled-world people soulfulencounters, to name a few.
I notice your haven’t written a profile yet for this site. It may be a good idea to let people know more about you, like where you live. A lot of people here are always keen to find out who lives locally, in there area.
Start small, venture out and get to know people slowly. But don’t ever think less of yourself because you are ill or disabled. In fact, people like us tend to have a richer kinder more interesting loving soul, and anyone who doesnt like you for the way you are, are not even worth knowing. There are plenty of other wonderful people out there who would love to get to know you, its just a matter of being in the right place that suits you, website forums like this one, evening classes perhaps, or social groups, and so on.
Remember, having good friends can be just as wonderful and fulfilling inlife, as having a soul mate.
Thanks for taking the time to reply I really appreciate it. I will definitely try to mix with people more because I have found myself withdrawing from society and staying indoors more since this happened and I know deep down that isn’t healthy.
I will also give those dating websites a try soon, so thanks for that tip off.
Thanks again Almond (and Poll) - very sound advice!!
Hi Wes Know what you meAn. I just left my husband when my right side stopped working. I was so excited for the future and meeting someone who liked me and would make me smile., Now I’m thinking with ms and 2 young kids what’s the point in Even trying. Ms has just affected everything won’t give me a break things change all the time. Hope you have a lot of success when you try dating and even if it’s nota wonderful romance you meet new friends Em x
I was in a hostile marriage with an alchoholic. I got divorced and when I met my now partner (8 years ago) I told him the night after we got together ‘properly’ that I had just been diagnosed with MS. I also told him up front that I had a severly disabled daughter who has cerebral palsy and is wheelchair bound. … In other words I gave him enough baggage for him to run a mile (or even a marathon) … but he didn’t.
We are very different people and our backgrounds are not alike, he has his own medical problems and now has diabetes type 2. Life is not good for me or him right now but we both tolerate each others limitations and acknowldge that everyone has their own problems/issues.
With hindsight, I found myself being too honest very quickly about my MS & things, almost with view to ‘testing him out’ before I got too involved. Perhaps it would have been better to go slow and not say too much, but then again when would I have said something? I don’t know.
Anyway, for me honesty and being up front is how I am. It might not be right for all but it works for me.
Only problem I have is an ongoing craving for support and assurance which he just can’t give me because of his own problems. . Relationships are always soooooooo difficult (disabled or not!!)
Just be yourself my friend, you are stronger and more worthy than you think !!
