My husband is having an affair again and he thinks it’s ok. I have her number and even met her. He said he only slept with for a quite life. Nice isn’t it. What am I to do as we have kids and he says he wants them.
Does he think he can take the kids away from you and set up home with his bit on the side?
having 2 daughters with errant ex-husbands, gives me the grrrr to reply to your post.
Dont put up with this man any longer…if he thinks it is okay to have an affair, then show him how wrong he is.
Find some oomph and get him out…or is there chance of a reconciliation? But remember, he`s done it once…
luv Pollx
ps sorry to sound so gobby!
It never ceases to amaze me what women put up with.
Do you need him is the question?
I would consult a solicitor and if you have prove you can do him for adultery. IF he wants his kids well the court wont be so happy with him being a persistant adulterer…
Get rid hun, you dont need negatives in your life.
Write down 10 things you like about him and 10 things you dont like about him, and see which one has the most…
Good luck hun, whatever you decide.
I have been through this situation myself and I know how upsetting it is but you must do what is best for you and the children now. It will seem like a too high mountain to climb but it’s not.
There are a couple of important things to consider if you want to end your marriage:
Where will you live? If your children are young your husband has an obligation to keep a roof over their head even if he isn’t living there.
Income If you do not claim ESA in your own right you need to investigate claiming this or IS when you become a single parent. I would advise a trip to CAB. They will help you to claim all that you are entitled to.
Adultery is not an automatic ground for divorce. The statement is that your partner has committed adultery and you can’t live with it. You can’t use it as a reason for divorcing if you continued to live with your partner for 6 months after you found out about the adultery. I suppose what happens for a lot of people is that they take their partner back, forgive them and then find out they are at it again. In which case unreasonable behaviour would come into play.
When it comes to arrangements for the children, who is at fault or innocent in the divorce situation has no bearing whatsoever on any decisions that are made. The best interests of the children will be at the forefront not punishing someone for marital misdeeds.
The court will look for agreement and consensus from the two parents regarding the children and will expect that they have undergone mediation before they seek legal redress (you can get legal aid for mediation)
The point is that your husband might “want” the children but it isn’t that simple. Don’t let him bully you.
Thank you. Things aren’t easy
Having also been in a similar position, all I can ask is that you sit down and have a good think about the affect that this is having on you Anon (and through you, the kids). I tried very hard to do the ‘forgive and put it in the past’ thing (to the point that I made myself very ill), only to find (belatedly) that he had been unfaithful in all of his previous relationships, and was always going to be.
I you can say, with all honestly, that you can cope with what he has done (and may do again) then you are a stronger person than I.
I think that sometimes, especially when we have children, it becomes so ingrained in our nature to put everyone else first that we lose sight of what we once would have found to be totally unacceptable.
Only you know the answer to that hun, but I do wish you all the best.
Mags xx
You and your children deserve better! You may never trust him again and your children will be much happier without the stress and tension in their lives. Dust off your self-pride, change the locks and get some sound legal advice. You may be in for a bumpy ride for a while but you will be far happier enjoying the unconditional love of your children.
I wish you all the very best, whatever you decide to do.
Hugs. xx