Hi. I’ve been married for 14 years and have two children aged 13 and 10. My husband walked out last November and we are now looking to divorce. He earns a very good salary and I am retired on ill health retirement. He does not want to take on the children and has already purchased himself a new home but we are now in discussions as to how to manage the family home as he doesn’t want to be responsible for it as he doesn’t live here, but my pension is nowhere near enough for me to take the property on alone. I was wondering if anyone else has found themselves in a similar situation and can pass on any advice.
Oh dear cart before horse. Really he has responsibility to keep a home for his children until they leave full time education, he is therefore responsible to maintain. I think the mistake was you should have dealt with all this before. You need a solicitor now urgently.
You see its like when my brothers ex wife chucked him out because he was working too hard and she didnt see him, he still had to keep the home running for the 2 children.
Your in a good position as you have the children. dont let him bully you into anything you must see a solicitor ok. He cant just walk out and leave you with no help with the children, i do hope he has been paying maintenance please tell me he has.
PS. If he is on a good salary he should be paying a good amount of maintenance. My daughters husband was paying over 500.00 a month for the 2 children because he was earning high money.
Oh also are you on DLA or PIP? if your on pension can you get pension credit?
It’s a mad world, but not so mad that a husband with earning power can walk away from his wife and children without having to contribute to their living expenses going forward. What on earth makes you think you need to buy him out of his half of the house? That is rarely the way it works - particularlywhen there is a marriage/Civil Partnership contract in place and children who will be raised by the lower earning spouse. That’s what contracts are for, and why it is so very important to have one, and such a good thing that you do.
Please get yourself a good lawyer who will lead you through this mire and tell you that it is going to be OK. Seriously, I feel it very likely that you have fewer worries than you think on the financial side.
And finally - if it’s relevant - when it comes to financial settlements, the family courts tend to be MUCH more concerned with what you and your children need to live on than with any new outgoings in excess of his reasonable needs that your husband might have chosen to take on since he left. So, if you are letting that worry you, don’t. That will be his problem, not yours.
I have had my say. You have 2 children and therefore your parnter is responsible to maintain a home for them until education is completed which can be upto 19 years old.
ALSO he should be paying you good solid maintenance. You dont have to leave the house, he has to help you I dont know what your mortgage is but if he is on a good salary he should be paying you good money.
You simply must see a solicitor. He should not have purchased a new home until all this was sorted. at 14 years marriage you are entitled to HALF of everything.
Now solicitor please. You are being bullied and i know you can end up with a good settlement. what a horrible father ugh.
the odd thing with these type of posts is that we never get to know what happened in the end - was the advice given actually taken - did things work out for the OP ?
I just wanted to thank those f you who took the time to advise me. I have a solicitor and have attended mediation…without the other party…as he refused. It’s costing me a lot to get rid of a man who left me but I’m sure it will be worth every penny in the long run. In response to krakowian…I will try to remember to post here when it’s all done and dusted and leave sone relevant info for the next poor soul who finds themselves in this position. Thanks again to all of you. X
BRILLIANT, really pleased you stuck with it, and didnt let that bully win, he will have a hard fall in the end serves him right. His duty was to his family, you cant just shrug off famly ok we may have to leave because we dont get on but he just selfishly dismissed you as not being important and decided to carry on like nothing was changed. WRONG.
I truly hope you get a good result and yes its really good to let others know how your journey went, as there will be another person in the same situation as yourself who will benefit from your experiences.
I truly wish you well, and i hope you get a good result. xxxxxxxxxx
As a father who split from the mother of his 2 children , i cant even begin to wonder how a father can walk away and not support his children or make sure his ex wife / partner is looked after, i mean she has given him children and had to put her career on hold to do this .
I split from my wife ( her choice ) as i was never around , being in the army , half the time she had no idea where i was , and when i finally became uk based full time we found we couldnt live together ,so there was no one else involved , were still very good friends even .
But ill tell you i made bloody sure she was ok and so were my children we have never had an arguement over money and never got solicitors involved .Any man who walks away and fails in his duty as a father and denies his ex her dues deserves everything he gets , not all men are %#@=_¥$÷ by the way (signs put in inplace of any good swear word )
Oh, I understand you perfectly. Many women have encountered such problems, even myself. I understand how stressful these situations are, especially when you have children and can only support yourself from a pension. That’s awful. Unfortunately, I also had to deal with such a man. My husband made a lot of money, and he told me I didn’t have to work. I found a job that was more of a hobby for me, and I had a small income. We have a child that I alone could not support. My husband and I started arguing, and he moved to another house. But he didn’t want us to divorce because he needed a lot of documents, but he didn’t want to give me money to support the child, the house, etc. So I went to different agencies, and you recommended that I (removed by moderator), and that’s it. I did that, and a legal separation is like a divorce - all assets and liabilities are divided. That was the solution to my problem.
