Hi everyone please all help and advice really appreiated. Going through some hard times, this is complecated so please read all the message. The financial side of my divorce has got messy. On top of that my diagnosis is now SPMS so stress is really bad. I will try and explain please stay with me, My house is in my name only got it with first husband, he left me when my kids were very young. Got married to my now 2nd ex husband we were together for 8 yrs tough time for half of it, got diagnosed in 2007 with MS my ex always was a drinker but he couldn’t cope with all the symtoms i was having. You name it for MS i have it fatigue,depression bowel/bladder, movement, weakness, memory well i could go on but you know all of them. Verbal abuse from him when drinking got the norm, upsetting the kids and me but i was scared to ask him to leave. After a total breakdown i finally had the courage after alot of councilling to tell him to leave. I had critical illness cover on my mortgage which paided off the mortgage, i’m/ was a hairdresser but had to stop working. Living off now DLA ESA and a small bit of board from my son who helps me in the house to do everything. As the solicitor says it is the matremonal home he wants me to sell the house, like NOW to get his money out of the house. they have stated i can only look for a 1 bedroom flat/bungalow from the sale. My son is 18 and a apprentice electrician but he helps me live where i feel safe, secure i’ve lived here for 17 yrs and my neighbours and friends are all around me to help, I DON’T WANT TO SELL MY HOUSE i am scared to be some where else, PLEASE PLEASE could you give me some advice i have paided my solicitor stupid money that is on a credit card she not helped at all, now putting a complaint in, thats another story but will not bore you now. IF YOU HAVE READ THE WHOLE MESSAGE THANK YOU SO SO MUCH NEED HELP QUICKLY. LOVE TO ALL Debbie xx
Hi Debbie,
How much is your solicitor saying your ex is entitled to? Is she saying he should get half of the value of the house? I think it ma be worthwhile that you get another opinion from another solicitor. Unfortunately, I think the law says that when you marry, a spouse has to get a certain amount from joint assets regardless of whether they have contributed in any way.
Unfortunately, because your son is 18 and not in full time education, the court would not usually take your son into account.
You say that your son has to help you with everything in the house, could your son be considered for carer’s allowance? That way your ex may be awarded less from the sale of your house as you might be able to show that you will need a two bedroom place for you & your carer.
I’m afraid that I can’t give any sort of advice regarding actually staying in the house you are in now, that may not be possible. Have you approached the CAB about the matter?
Hope things can progress better for you.
Take care
Hi Fudgey37
thanks for replying to my message complicated that it is, we have had 2 hearings with a judge they have said he is intilited to 35% roughly. That will leave me with not enough to buy anywhere else, even if i wanted to move. My son works as so can not get carers allowance, they have also said if my son were to stay with me he would have to have a put me up bed somewhere in the flat/bungalow. That is not right if anyone knows about disability rights that might be helpful. I’m trying every thing possible to stay here, but i think i’m in a losing battle!!!
Been to see CAB before they couldn’t really help.
Again thankyou for reading n replying
Take care as well
hi doubledee
perhaps if your son had a recognised status as your carer, that could help.
if he applies for carer’s allowance, even if he doesn’t receive any payments maybe that would be enough for him to legally be your carer.
can the ms society help?
wishing you all the best
carole x
Hi Deb, I `m sorry I dont know the legalities about this. But I just want to send my best wishes and a hug.
Maybe the MSS can offer advice.
pollx
Is it possible to get Legal Aid to help you with this?
Civil (non-criminal) cases
Civil cases include things like debt, family or housing problems. To get legal aid, you usually need to show you can’t afford to pay for legal costs and your problem is serious.
You’ll usually have to give details and evidence of your income, benefits, savings and property, and those of your partner. If you’re under 18, you may need to give information about your parents’ or guardians’ income.
Check if you can get legal aid by using this page.
have you thought of contacting the ms society on the free phone number at the top of this page?
They might just be able to point you in the right direction,sorry i cant help any other way,but good luck i hope you get halp from somewhere ,
Barbara.xx
Big time good good luck Debbie
julien,xx
Not sure how much money your son earns. You need to only find 35% of the value of the house.
So for example what if your house was valued at 180,000, at 35% your husband should receive 63,000 less fees. I know your son is 18, probably not earning enough but if there was a way you could get remorgaged or find that sort of money then you dont have to sell your house, you just have to give him the money over time. My friend is going through exactly the same scenario as you.
She is going to borrow the money on the house as she has equity. You would have 75% equity on your house. Its worth thinking about.
Do you have other family who could help? x
The cost of taking out a mortgage for ÂŁ35k - would be a lot less then paying rent on another property.
No expert here but what about those Equity Release organisations that provide elderly people (not that I assume you are elderly) with a cash lump sum, in return for a future claim on the home when they die. Not sure how it works or if it would work for you or your son.
More on equity release at www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk
Hi. My circumstances were so similar and with a good solicitor and in court a good barrister, my husband got nothing from my house. We had been married 16 years but the judge said that with my MS there was no way I would be able to manage due to not being unable to have a career etc and that my now ex could start again and have the ability, through working, to get another mortgage. It was fortunate that the judge could see the justification for making that decision. Don’t give up. Argue your case. Goodluck
Hello Debbie.
Firstly I wish you good luck and hopefully a happy outcome.
Make a complaint about the solicitor. Try breach of contract if you can. You may have to do this bit without a solicitor, although you’ll find one who wants to make money off the original solicitors insurance!
Inform the credit card company the payment you made with the card is in dispute. Hopefully they’ll put the payments due on hold (this is guesswork at the mo.)
Have a look on Mums net forums. I started using that site when I became a single dad for help/ advice/ see how someone else coped with similar problems and methods used etc. Maybe someone else has encountered similar. Sorry if that’s teaching you to suck eggs.
Go for Legal Aid on the grounds of domestic abuse (abuse doesn’t have to be physical, nasty things said when your OH was slaughtered?). One of the few ways of getting legal aid nowadays.
Have a look around get out of debt for tips and advice on how to play the legal game and the rules. Bit naughty, but trust me, it works! https://www.getoutofdebtfree.org My ex (alcoholic and violent for the last 10 yrs of the marriage ) left me with some serious debts running into ÂŁtens of thousands.
Most of all.
Keep smiling. if for no other reason than it confuses the enemy!!
Debbie,
Please, please, please seek the opinion of another solicitor. After all the house is in your name only. I doubt your ex can show he’s contributed in any way to the buying or maintaining your house. Can the house be deemed the “family home” as you’ve got a son under the age of 21? Have you other children of school age still living with you?
I won’t write any more as other folks have given lots of good advice. Only to say we are outraged at your ex. He sounds a nasty piece of work and shouldn’t be bullying you like this after all it sounds as if you have grounds he has abused you verbally in front of the child upsetting them also.
I’m seething on your behalf!
Take a deep breath and get the best advice you can.
Anne