Please HELP! I really do not want to sell my house

Hi everyone, it has been years since I have posted anything on this forum but I really need some help and I am unsure where I turn to next.

I have secondary progressive multiple sclerosis and I’ve had it for the last seven years and I also have other lung problems which has put me into intensive care on many occasions so basically my health is not very good and it is getting worse.

I have two children aged 15 and 18 and had been married for 23 years but last year my wife left me in July because she never loved me any more and she now lives around 3 miles away from me and she is renting the property she is in.

We lived altogether for the last 12 years in South Wales and 18 months ago I was given a Disabled Facilities Grant to adapt our property and the total was just over £30,000 and this grant would need to be paid back in full if the property was sold.

I am now going through a divorce and I have agreed to place our property for sale and this is where I need help.

The property where I am is in both our names and I am unable to buy my wife out and she is also in the same position and this is the reason why the property is up for sale. But I have been told it may be possible for me to get the courts to give me permission to stay in my house because of the adaptions and I would also find it very difficult to get any social housing or to get a privately rented adapted house.

I pay the mortgage that is in both our names in full every month and I also pay everything else that we both used to pay and I have not asked her for any money.

At present I have a solicitor who is dealing with my divorce and this is one expense I really could have done without and I really do not want to employee another solicitor due to the expense and being totally honest I just do not have the extra funds to do this.

If somebody could tell me where or what I need to do that would be great, I really hate asking for help but I am settled where I live and as the property has been heavily adapted for my needs I really do not want to leave and I am so scared on where I will end up.

Many thanks for reading my posting and I really hope somebody out there can help.


I can’t offer any advice. I too have to sell my house )it’s not suitable and currently going through a divorce. Hope you get the answers you want. Could citizens advice help. They may be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck Em x

Hi, it sounds to me like you really should stay in your current house. Like you, we`ve had expensive alterations, so i can identify with you.

Have you not asked your solicitor the question?

As you have paid all the costs of running the house, including the full mortgage, then you have more rights to stay there. But okay, we know the law doesnt work like that, ie what we think should happen.

You need to get some professional advice. Yes, it may cost you, but in the long run, it could save you a cartload of dosh in the end.

I only hope you do get to stay in your house.

Let us know how things go, yeh?

luv Pollx

Like the others I can’t answer but surely the solicitor dealing with your divorce can advise, and if he doesn’t know he must surely know how/where to find out, without you needing to consult another solicitor. This can’t be the first time this has happened, perhaps a precedence has already been set. Hope you can resolve this soon. X

Hello Antony

Is your wife insisting that you sell, does she need the money? If she doesn’t need the money, could it be part of the divorce settlement that you stay in the property but should you die before her then all profit from sale of house goes to your wife. Minus what is owed to disabled grant.

Should your wife die before you, then everthing would go to your two children. That’s all I can think of and I’ve no idea if that’s even possible.

Good luck xx

Yout local CAB should be able to advise you.

Surely the divorce solicitor would advise on property. You don’t say where your children are living, have you seen a mediator? I believe they are there to help people sort out property and the needs of any children without incurring too much cost. Again your solicitor should advise on mediation. Good luck. Jan

have you approached a housing association to see if they will buy it and allow you to stay? Sometimes they have a scheme where they do this in exceptional circumstances, you would rent it back off them but its a lot safer and more secure than a sell to rent scheme done privately. Speak to your council to find out if it is available in your area.