This is going to sound rather cold hearted, but I need to understand what lies ahead.
My partner who has MS co-habits with me, we are both divorcees. I own my house; it’s my name on the deeds and mortgage. My partner following his divorce had his ownership in his property reduced to 30% and tied into the mortgage until his youngest child hits 16. So financially he has no means to buy into my property or even take on a mortgage in his own right.
He is now having issues walking, legs are always heavy and his fatigue has also increased to the point whereby he is unable to help around the house, so I now have to take on more of the “man” maintenance role. He is still able to work, but I don’t know for how much longer.
So where do we stand, we are not married, his name is not on the property he lives in, so will we be able to access grants for putting in a stair lift or a downstairs bathroom & bedroom or will I be expected to finances theses changes? If my partner has to give up work and I continue to work full-time, will my partner be able to claim any benefits. I have two teenage children, one is off to uni in September and I’m sure the other will follow, so my personnel finances are already going to be stretched supporting my kids and I don’t see how I can manage to support all four of us.
So does anyone know how the benefit/support system would view our situation?
Hi, I dont think you sound cold hearted. You just need to know what`s what with money coming in.
Does your chap get DLA? Sounds like he should.If he is forced to take early retirement, then he shoul;d aslo qualify for ESA…but as you probably know from other posts here, it isnt an easy road to get what you`re due.
As regards DFG`s (grants), these are means tested. Not sure if your income will be included in the claculation. As your house is his abode, then an OT would make an assessment of his needs for where he lives.
My ma in law lived with us for a while and she got a stair lift put in, in her name and had to pay nil, as she was on basic pension. Our income wasnt asked about.
Things could have changed re grants/benefits, as the cuts come in.
Best ring BEL/Housing dept to find latest info.
luv Pollx
Thanks Poll
Lee has been one of those guys that if he didnt think about it may not be real. So he has never filled in any forms and does not even have a blue badge, plus his doctor clearly does not understand about good days and bad days so when is asked recently about applying he proclaimed that Lee was too fit!. This is a guy that used to play Squash 5 times a week, then after a big hit found he couldnt run and turn anymore, so moved to spinning and now he cant do that, in fact he now walks at a childs pace and often has concerns as to whether he will make it back to the car. So sadly he has no Blue badge or DLA!
x
Hi
my husband hated form filling and ‘sponging’ off the state - but what’s due is yours!
He should definitely look at claiming DLA, even if he is still working - and the Blue Badge (my husband refused to use his when he was having an odd ‘good’ day). As Poll said, he will be able to claim ESA if he has to give up work.
I think, unfortunately, the way they means test the local authority grants when it comes to housing adaptions means they will count you as a partner (as you co-habit), and so will take your income/savings into account. Partners to them is regardless of whether you are married. They do take into account all your outgoings though (such as mortgage, loans etc), but they won’t take into account you supporting your older children. The same will be the case if your partner ever needs carers (although here the means test is even more rigorous, and includes just the interest on the mortgage etc).
As an aside though, our OT refused to sanction a stair lift for MS patients due to balance issues. We were lucky in that we lived in a bungalow - so swapped our upstairs bedroom with our daughter’s downstairs one.
I know this sounds a little doom and gloom - but Lee may have many years of just levelling off and may not need major adaptions for many years (if at all). The social will provide certain equipment - walking frames, wheelchairs (manual and electric), shower chairs etc - free of charge, provided the OT has sanctioned them.
Samantha
Hi
Early on my husband too did not want to know about MS full stop, but it has a way of being persistent. Your partner really needs to get to grips with the paperwork. You could start with your local CAB, or MS society. The Blue Badge has been a godsend for us, initially we did not use it when walking was an option but things have changed and my husband is not able to walk any distance now. Plus sometimes parking is free for holders so that is a saving that adds up.
You might want to think about changing GPs to one who has a better understanding of MS, or at least wants to get up to speed. My husbands own GP said on dx ‘Well at least MS does not hurt!’ silly cow. However another GP in the surgery was just brilliant and helped us both in the early days.
He can only get away with burying his head in the sand for so long, but with your support you will gradually find you way through. So one thing at a time. The key with MS is managing it, so that it does not manage you.
Regards