I am in a Sh@@@y situation where I am living in pretty much a loveless environment, my MS isn’t getting better (does it ever lol)
A couple of years ago my dad (not biological, I was brought up in care) he was absolutely mortified that I had MS, when he died he left me his house and clearly stated this was to help look after me in the future as my health declines, for the most post I’ve been sensible with it, apart from cars and some holidays. I’ve been married 18 years and my wife has never gone without anything even though she spends money like water, holidays, cars, clothes, jewellery, however I can’t work anymore and my wife has started working almost a year ago, since then she made life very hard leaving me with our kids which I love with all of my heart but I struggle with my youngest, she has also pretty much cut off my access to money ! I am not even trusted to go shopping which causes world war 4 with the kids, when she does go shopping it’s mainly things for her and our 8 year old she buys for, and now she basically makes it clear I don’t contribute now and make me feel in the way and completely cold and living in a loveless house.
I am pretty sure my marriage is over, I’m scared but know it’s time to accept it and move on, we don’t own our house it’s a councill house however I own a flat I’ve had since 5 years before we met and there is now from my uncles estate there’s 2 mot properties that I need to sell th be able to buy something suitable to live in with my MS.
Is there any way that I protect these assets if we divorce and buy a house to live in that I will be safe in living with MS, his will specifically said the money was to secure care for me because of condition.
It there any way this money can be protected from my wife if I get a divorce ?
Go to a solicitor - family law.
They will tell you how to ringfence your assets yet still make provision for your family. Might involve putting the properties into trusts.
Also sort out will, life policy beneficiaries and LPA to keep stuff away from your wife.
LPA and Will will specify executors of your choosing.
Interesting situation: you are asset rich but income poor, your wife is the opposite. A shame that she’s pissed away your money while you had some and turned on you now she’s the breadwinner. True colours etc.
In the event of a separation, they would look to her income to support the family. They’d look to your property and benefits to support yourself.
Sorry, but the writing is on the wall.
Certainly does sound pretty shi77y, my heart goes out to you.
I’ve just been through a messy divorce, and one of the things I learned is that inheritances are not counted as marital assets. There are some caveats around it, such as getting a sum of money that you use to pay off some of the mortgage in the family home for example. Google ‘is inheritance considered a marital asset’ to get some more context around it. Ultimately she will claim that she needs more than you because she’s got the children, and therefore Will want to keep the family home.
I was very worried that my ex was going to try and take Half of the equity in the house, because that is where most divorce settlements start from and that is what he said he was after. Fortunately there were no children or anything to consider, and in the end he didn’t get close to a half, but I had a bloody good solicitor and barrister and he didn’t. It was very expensive though.
Citizens advice can be a good place for getting impartial and useful advice. Try to get yourself as familiar as possible with the process, there are two types of divorce now –no fault divorce, which is also known as a quickie divorce, and the traditional one where you can evidence blame for the breakdown to the other party. The financial settlement part can be dealt with separately, so we had a quick divorce and then the financial settlement wasn’t finalised until over two years later because he was being a tw@. I don’t use Snapchat or TikTok, but one of my friends kept showing me clips on one of them from a divorce lawyer who had lots of advice. I’d imagine there’s a lot on YouTube that’s quite similar. You can never have too much information! I’d also suggest doing some research into financial abuse. Don’t sit there and say to yourself that oh no it isn’t that bad, do some proper research into it. The divorce courts take a very dim view of it. I’ve just copied and pasted this out of Google from searching financial abuse: " Financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse and is a way of having power over you. It involves someone else controlling your spending or access to cash, assets and finances. This can leave you feeling isolated, lacking in confidence and trapped." I wasn’t sure myself about whether to Bring it up during my divorce, because he was a liar and thief, but I really wish I had. It really can make a big difference to how things go in court and the amount of steps you need to go through.
It doesn’t sound as though it will be an amicable situation, whatever happens, so brace yourself and sort out your armour and your ammunition. Unfortunately stress can make MS worse, and it is one of the most stressful things you can do.
Don’t forget there’s always friendly advice on this place, and the MS Society helpline is only a phone call away.
Look after yourself.