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Hunter Safety Cat

Has anyone tried to order reusable catheters lately please?!!!  I ticked box on repeat prescriptions and was told they have been discontinued.  Apparently they are still available on male prescriptions?!!!  I'm afraid I was so upset I cried (in private that is!!).  I can order speedicath but as I use about 8 a day I asked nurse if I could maybe try permanent catheter.  She told me that I am on waiting list for Botox, for 3rd course that is, and permanent catheter wouldn't really work for my type of bladder problems.  I saw peristeen nurse at my hospital last week and am due to try that any time now.  She didn't want me to take codeine phosphate any more, just immodium.  I am now really worried that even though my system of micralax enemas, immodium and codeine phosphate wasn't 100% safe it was better than just immodium.  I am really sorry I have moaned so much I think it's because I am on my own a lot when my lovely husband is at work and I can't really talk to him about any of this stuff.  Also my feet are so swollen and horrible that I imagined I could have permanent catheter, take diuretics or something and my feet and ankles would return to normal size!!!  Think I live in la la land!!