House move stress

New diagnosis and before diagnosis
1

Hi again.

You do your very best …

Here I am, being moved on by the Council who are going to knock my house down. Calm. Deep breathing. Zen. Agreed price, found house to buy, arranged everything to move in on Friday coming. More Zen. Ommmmm … Last Friday solicitor told me that there were no deeds so need vendor to buy indemnity insurance policy - not expensive - instead, in case deeds turn up after I’ve spent loads of money and have to undo it all again. Vendor refusing to buy one! Cost £20 - £300 and it’s dependent on house value - this house is very cheap so will be at the lower end. WHY won’t she buy one?

Have told council, they are happy this is a valid reason not to complete, but they’ve paid for all the searches, legal fees, a builder’s survey etc already. Am worried they won’t pay for the next one I find.

Have planned to pack for this move slowtime, so as not to stress over it, and haven’t been. Been out to lunch quite a lot (twice last week, three times this week!) and have been doing quite nicely until I was told yesterday she wanted me to move in on Monday (ok by me, small twitch as lots of things to rearrange but no real problem, these things happen Calm … Zen … deep breathing) and was not going to buy the indemnity policy. WHAT? Silly woman. Solicitor advised me to have one, any one buying the house is going to feel the same way, not just me, so she’s nothing to gain by holding out. Her solicitor wouldn’t buy a deedless house without one either, I know this for sure.

This morning, woke up to toes and fingers flapping like grounded fish. They say house move is supposed to be one of the most stressful things you can do, I’ve done it 12 times already and hate cardboard boxes. My living room is full of the things.

Letters are now being exchanged, and I depend on her solicitor to make her see sense. I’ve also sent her a text saying that the council are happy for me to pull out in the circs, and that she could have £xxk in her bank on Monday if only she’d spend a little money …

AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Not had a symptom for a few months - and BANG. Twitch, twitch, flap, flap …

lol.

2

Hi, I would think she’s hoping you are going to off to pay for it. Can’t imagine why else she would refuse. Surely she realises that if you pull out she’s back at square one… will have to put the house back on the market and start again!

I sold a flat a couple of years ago… and yes… did all the deep breathing and zen and slowly slowly stuff… and I’ve moved countless times in my life… but it ended up being one of the most stressful things I’ve ever done. My MS symptoms went nuts… so yes… sorry to say but it’s ‘normal for MS’.

Just before we were going to complete, my solicitor informed me that the buyer’s solicitor had informed her that the local Church of England could decide to ask the householder for money for the upkeep of the local church. Apparently this is a 12th century ‘right’ and some churches have used it… so I had to pay insurance for my buyer against this happening. Sounded like a joke but it wasn’t! Of course I paid (only £100) but it held up completion. It seems there’s always ‘something’ just before you complete… so keep that in mind.

I would say ask your solicitor’s advice… for instance could you offer to pay half the cost (I know that you shouldn’t have to… but anything to stop it all falling through), but if your solicitor is anything like mine was, they seem to spend whole time being ‘unavailable’. However, if you can, ask if that’s a possible solution if you can afford it.

But really I would say you should hold your nerve. I think she will pay up. Nobody in their right mind would want to stop the sale at this stage.

After my move I couldn’t believe how tired I was (even though I didn’t do any of the lifting, moving stuff etc etc). I think the stress is huge and put MS into the mix and it all multiplies. One bit of advice I would offer (when you’re finally in new house!)… don’t try to get it all done all at once. I was very keen to get unpacked and ‘settled’ within a couple of days. Big mistake. Wish I’d taken it easy and done it bit by bit.

Hope that you hear today that she’s offered to pay! Let us know.

Take care and good luck,

Pat x

3

I can remember when we moved and it was so stressful and that was before the ms stuff kicked off. 2 weeks before exchange our buyers announced that a grant they were supposed to get hadn’t come through so they didn’t have the money. They hadn’t mentioned this to their solicitor. It was a horrendous time but we got through it and we now have our forever home and love it here. I hope things sort out for you and you come through it ok. Take care Xx

4

Hi all.

The Council agreed to pay for the replacing insurance policy for the lack of deeds as a disbursment! They had agreed it was a reason to pull out, but had already paid for the solicitor’s bill up to and including searches, and the builder’s survey etc. The Exchange of Contracts happened Friday at 16h30, and I’ve spent since Friday lunch ALL WEEKEND boxing up 58 boxes, running up and down the loft ladder and the stairs (our stairs are 45 degrees) with most of them and have used up 4 rolls of brown tape. The kitchen, my bedroom and the shed still to do, but there’s no where left to put the boxes that work will generate unless I lug them upstairs. No-one else to help and the kids were at their dad’s for the weekend, thankfully. DS just helped me get the xmas decs down now. I can’t see any furniture bar the table, the telly and half the sofa but it’ll do for this evening.

I have burney cold toes on my right foot on and off, a bit of hand parts flapping and toe/foot parts flapping in the mornings, but other than that, the three time a day breaks I’ve been giving myself, plus a drink in the evenings, and a relaxing bath one night, have helped I think. I’ve had one or two nasty horrible shooting pains across the ribs, and a bit of IBS cramp, but nothing serious, except a headache round one eye for three days from Thursday which wouldn’t respond to NSAIDS or paracetamol. Migraine, I think.

My back was horrendous Friday night - sciatica both legs down to the foot, but 2nd night just to the knee and today nothing. It takes time to make it submit to vigorous exercise but it gets there in the end, if only disgracefully. If I ran up and down ladders all day every day my back wouldn’t give me a moment’s trouble! My poor legs, however …

Am having this evening off, a few hours tomorrow will crack it and then the removers arrive at 12. I hope I shall have the keys and Completion by lunchtime. I’m going to shove all the boxes bar a few into the garage and unpack at my leisure later.

Worst thing is, originally I’d planned to move last Friday but the vendor needed to cx it to tomorrow, but tomorrow is my twin girl’s sports day and I want to be there! Bother!

Can’t wait till the removers see all the boxes. I remember well the horror on the faces of those who brought us here five years ago nearly. There’s hardly anything upstairs, though, even furniture as I’m going to be very naughty to those who still owe me £10k (I’ve lost that much with the sale) and leave dead beds etc. They can skip them when they knock it down.

Now, where’s that bottle of wine I started last night …?