advice on moving house needed please.

Hi everyone,hope you are all ok

we are having our house valued today as i feel we need to downsize to a bungalow,but i am scared silly with it all,i feel the stress of it all wont do me any good at all,i find it very hard coping with change,and i have lived in this house for 18 years,and i dont dislike it at all,i have been very happy in it,and over the years i have made it into a lovely welcoming home,i bought it the year after i lost my lovely husband,and i settled straight away

although i love my home, the street i live on is very snobby,and the neighbours,well,they took a dislike to me from the start,its not just me either, that thinks it, i have 2 friends that couldnt wait to move from the street,they said they have never known people like them,but i didnt care as i just kept myself to myself and got used to it,so in way it will be nice to move,for that reason,

the main reason to move is so i will be on one level,and to make it easier to maintain and clean for my OH and myself, but we may be only able to afford a semi detached,this is a detached house and ive loved the fact that it is detached too, as i had some rellt noisy neighbours in my last house,so feel a bit reluctant with that too,

sorry for rambling on but i feel really confused,i am scared to death of making a mistake.

J x

Hi J, oh I do know exactly how you feel. I too am thinking of moving. I’m in sheltered housing in north London but my Mum and sister are over in west London, so I’m trying for find sheltered housing closer to them. However that is a whole lot less stressful than selling and buying a home. When I moved in here 4 years ago I did sell a flat so I have a bit of experience. I would advise you NOT to look at the BIG PICTURE. In other words, as soon as you start thinking about it you start thinking about how are you going to pack the china and what colour carpet you’ll buy and which moving company you’ll have… etc etc etc etc… till you think you’ll go mad! If this is happening to you, remember that all these bridges can be crossed when you come to them. Concentrate on the next step… I imagine for you it’s putting your house on the market and finding a bungalow to buy. Just concentrate on that for the time being… stop yourself from spinning out about all the tiny details. Secondly, I can understand you feeling sad that you are leaving your lovely home. So try, if at all possible, not to focus on these negative thoughts. When you find yourself thinking them, try to change the focus onto the positive things… the reasons why you are moving. No stairs!!! No snobby neighbours (we hope)!!! What fun it will be fixing up a new home. What fun it will be discovering a new neighbourhood. So… one step at a time… and keep the thinking positive. Don’t think beyond that yet. It all becomes overwhelming. You have very good reasons to move, so stop worrying about making a mistake. Remember nobody is going to force you to buy a house you don’t like. You will be in control. If you don’t like a house, don’t buy it. You will know if a house is right for you. Trust yourself. I have spent some time really worrying how I will move my houseplants and goldfish… I haven’t even been offered a flat yet and it could take months… maybe longer!!! See how ridiculous that is? It’s something I can work out at the time… worrying about it now is just a waste of time and stressing on something that isn’t important. Hope this helps… Take care… one day at a time, Pat xx

Hi pat,

As always you have given really good advice,we have just had the house valued and had a shock really,we were expecting it be valued i bit more than 2 years ago,BUT it was valued £10k less ???

i told the estate agent NO WAY,i will put it for sale online first ,and i am confident i will get nearer what we expect too,

i am not stessing over it though,just looking into ,how, to sell it myself,i have sold 2 houses in the past with no estate agent,so i am sure i can do it again if i have to.just wish i had the energy to .

J x

Hi Mrs J

Best advice is just take one day at a time, and try not to stress about it, I know this is easier said than done.

Positive and best thought…no stairs…yippee.

Hope it all goes well for you.

Pam x

thanks Pam, i dont think that i am stressing,BUT it still wears me out,even though i keep telling myself,but my OH deosnt help he is a stress head at the best of times,so its even harder as i have to keep telling him not to stress lol x

Hello Mrs J, as someone who has moved house four times since diagnosis 20 years ago, I know a lot of the pros and cons. I’m sure that the biggest advantage will be the lack of stairs. Stairs for me are the devil’s device! Knowing that you will move, you can see a series of steps which is all they are; even if some are more difficult than others you will eventually get there. I’ve had regrets about moving out of three of my previous homes-apart from the shoebox (horrid stair-ridden rented place). Best wishes, Steve x.

Hi J

We moved 3 years ago. My wife and I to be nearer to our Daughter and Son

I felt my MS getting worse and the top priority was to move to a bungalow.

So, moving is stressful but we are in our bungalow and modified it for my needs.

Semi or detached should not matter if you have good neighbours and bungalows are usually occupied by established people.

Go for it, a bungalow will make life with MS a lot easier and get help with modifications from the occupational therapist, I did !

Good luck with your move.