Hi! I have just listed my bungalow for sale as after deciding over many months that this is how to progress my life! I have Secondary Progressive MS, live alone, no family or helpful neighbours and have only been out twice in the last 12 months. I could drive but no longer have a car and don’t qualify for advanced PIP.
My MS nurse who phones every 6 months and is a lifeline to me also thinks due to the remoteness of where I live, this is a good idea too. So, has anyone ever started a new life somewhere else? Perhaps you could advise me whether it’s better to be near a GP surgery, Post Office or shop or town versus countryside? I’ve always lived in very quiet rural communities, but my family live in the city (and think I ought to be nearer to them).
I know this is a personal decision, but I’m just curious if anyone has ever been in this situation.
Thank you
Katie
Hi Katie345,
This is a dilemma that me and my hubby are pondering on. We live it a quite a big bungalow with large garden’s , my hubby is going to be 68 next March, I’m going to 66, I too have SPMS and he’s my main carer and my caring needs are getting more time consuming, so looking after our property the way he likes too is getting harder, I can’t do very much anymore. We don’t have any children (our choice) but my family live fairly close, as do a couple of friends. But we’re thinking we might like to be closer to the coast (maybe into an apartment) we currently live in Yorkshire,so do we take the plunge and have no one we know around, of follow our dream ?
As for you dilemma, maybe because you are so isolated it might be best, if you know that you might get some support from family then that will be a good thing, have you spoken to them about this, if so what was their reaction ?
I hope you come to the right decision for you, good luck.
Jean x
Hi Jean!
Thank you so much for replying. I think ‘go with your dreams’ lol!! You are fortunate to have a caring husband and I’m sure your family and friends will still keep in touch and visit you.
My family are keen to tell me to move nearer to them, but they won’t say exactly what they mean regarding any extra help. I suppose they can’t really and want me to make the decision myself.
Anyway, I hope everything works out for you both for the future.
Kind regards
Katie
Hi Katie345.
And I hope the same for you. I don’t know about you, but it’s the thought of looking for somewhere and packing everything up 
but if we’re going to do it, it has to be done. Keep us updated on here and all the best,
Jean x
Hello Katie,
I’ve always lived in rural communities and also need to move to a bungalow now and need to be in a more central location, although I don’t know how I’ll tolerate more people and noise around me. But it’s a needs must situation now.
I presently live in Yorkshire and have been clearing out my house ready for selling (since my husband died 2 years ago now - and I still think how very dare he die before me as that was never the plan, but we did have 50 happy years together.)
My two daughters live in Dorset so I’m thinking of moving to Dorset or Wiltshire or Hampshire areas to be closer to them. It’s a hard choice as I love Yorkshire but hey-ho maybe I’ll like one of these other areas. Moving closer to amenities might give me back some life opportunities and help me meet new people (which would be lovely).
Where do you live and which area are you thinking of moving to? I hope, like me, you find some happiness and company by moving, something to make your life more enjoyable too.
Hugs, Mary x
Hi Mary! Thank you so much for your reply.
We appear to be in a similar position. I live on the coast of East Yorkshire and have two sons in Hull and a daughter in South Lincolnshire. Like you I’m not looking forward to the noise and people if I move nearer to Hull, whereas I can possibly find village life again in Lincolnshire but it would be a completely fresh start. Again like you, needs must and I can’t stay here so isolated now I’m not so mobile. Oh but I do love the sea lol!!!
I hope you find happiness too - we’ll just have to choose a ‘good’ MS day for packing and think of all the positives for the future!
Kind regards
Katie
This is a decision that most of us will face in one way or another and of course we have all seen what can happen when people leave it too late, but also no one wants to do it too early! And inertia is a powerful force that offers endless excuses for leaving it until next year/until the weather improves or whatever. Well done you, grasping the nettle.
Thank you alison100. I did spend a lot of time thinking about it all first. I think it’s important not to dwell on the decision too long and keep positive regardless of it being ‘nearly Christmas’ as people keep telling me!!
Wait why don’t you qualify for advanced pip anymore I thought pip would be more helpful I feel like you need to look back into it and I got diagnosed at 20 starting feeling my symptoms and I live by myself it’s hard but we can do we are strong you are strong girl these type of situations made me realise sometimes you don’t need anyone but yourself
Hi sasha.doll1!
I have never received the advanced PIP - I’ve an appeal going through for the second time now. They still won’t accept that I can’t walk the distance they quote, but they still haven’t seen me in person. I couldn’t go to a face to face assessment during lockdown and my original application was done via the telephone. It’s such a battle! It takes so long too for a decision to be made. I’m not very hopeful again this time, so probably won’t get the option of a motability car. Personal Independence - lol!!!
Best wishes to you - you’re right, we are strong - we have to be!!!
Hi Katie,
Surprisingly understand what it’s like (on my own too still figuring it out).
Firstly I’d say try Citizens Advice Bureau for help with PIP not leaving the house for a year probably means you deserve support. 
I hate ‘taking’ benefits but the thing is you can’t crawl to the shop or pub. You need to get a terrier on your side to cross the line (for the form and so on), then that’s one thing fixed.
Smaller communities can be good as they know you, being close to family can be good too but they won’t ever understand what it’s like as hard as they try (Even I still don’t, the microsecond I’m not feeling on fire feel like I made it up).
So I’d say target PIP, I’m almost certain you should be on the top rate. I’m not one for asking for things but it’s a big relief. Didn’t take the car (have an older one instead) but being able to go somewhere when you want is huge.
All the very best,
Andrew
Hi Katie, my wife and I have a discussion at least twice a year about whether or not to move and look at Right Move and other websites for possible future locations and homes.
Our latest conclusion is that where we are is fairly good for two OAPs , one with MS. It ticks a fair few of our ‘wants’.
It’s in a medium sized village with a fairly good village shop that sells many of the staples, it has a pub ( not that we use it) and amazingly a restaurant with rooms for functions. There is a primary school so there is always some coming and going of mums and dads taking little ones to and back from school and/ or lollipop people to help the children cross the road. It has an annual Fete - with various stalls and activities, an annual Hogmanay (new years) event, a village hall, a playground with ‘outdoor gym’ (I think that’s what they are called) various groups , an old folks dinner etc etc . You get the picture?
Very conveniently it has a rail station which is very unusual for what is a village but even if it lacked a station the nearest town is just 5 miles away. The town has a station with a good service to the city some 20 minutes journey away. The town isn’t brilliant but it has GP practices, a selection of shops a bank, post office, cafes etc.
There is another town a few miles in a different direction in which the local MS Society Groups meet maybe twice a month for a meal, drink, chat etc. I haven’t yet joined them but I think it could be useful in future. Quite coincidentally I recently discovered that our village includes two other people with MS. I haven’t met them and I’m not totally sure where they live. I suppose I could try and find out, knock on their door and say ‘Hi, i believe you have MS, me too’ . A totally weird thing to do and one of the most unusual introductions! Perhaps just wait until coincidence results in my wife or I coming across them .
So for us where we are ticks the boxes of : in the countryside but with some community life, easy to get to GPs, shops, nearest town and city, good travel connections. In particular it has good rail connections.
I sometimes use my scooter to get to the local station and travel into the city. I find Scotrail staff are brilliant at helping folk with scooters, wheel chairs etc. . With a little effort I can actually manage to get my smallest folding scooter on and off the train myself but quite often find that a member of platform or train staff will just appear and ask if I want a hand. Passengers will do the same as well! As with most (all?) train services you can also book help , with a ramp for wheelchairs and scooters ( although they aren’t keen, won’t accept large scooters) .
Any way, I’ve visited Lincoln a couple of times. I think it has a local train line ( not sure) so, a village with a station and near Lincoln sounds good to me ( apologies for planning your life for you 
).
P.S - and on a serious point also check out what the NHS service is like for MS folk in areas you are thinking of.
Katie don’t give up with PIP. I went through the same process with my husband. Original they said no, appeal the said no. We then had a review at home. The assessor said ’ even though the medical evidence says he is unable to walk more than 10 metres it is not un reasonable to say he could’. On that basis it was denied again . So we went to tribunal. They weren’t happy with the process, could see he needed it and came out with both help and mobility at the highest level. I hate the way it happens, I’m going through it with myself for my MS now, but as my physiotherapist says, it’s just a process. The DWP seem to forget there are real people involved with real feelings. Take care, Alison.
Just remembered your original post about moving. I would say do what you want and move to where you love. On a personal basis don’t know why you’d want to leave god’s own country! Having said that Lincolnshire is nice too, uses to live there.
Hi Andrew!
Thank you for your reply. Pip is a nightmare - it’s very difficult as no-one seems to understand exactly. My first application I had help with over the phone, but still couldn’t get the advanced mobility. My symptoms have deteriorated since hence the amendment, but still didn’t qualify! My appeal is being considered by 30th December (sent in September!).
I agree with what you say about smaller communities regarding my move, and yes, families never fully understand!
All the best to you - kind regards, Katie
Hi Alison!
Thank you so much for your reply - it’s interesting reading other people’s problems with PIP. I’m so pleased you got it sorted for your husband in the end, but no doubt you will now have to battle through it all again for yourself.
All the very best to you - kind regards, Katie
Hi! Thank you for your post. It sounds ideal where you and your wife live so I would stay put and enjoy life to the full (and keep scootering along that path and enjoying the fresh air!!).
All the best to you both.
Kind regards
Katie
Thanks Katie,
They do say it’s a process. Let’s hope I remember that when they say no the first time!
No, I’m not at all cynical.
All the best Alison
Hi Katie. In my long winded way I was sort of suggesting that it doesn’t have to be a choice between countryside or near shops , GPs, support etc. It is possible to have both! I just wish it was a bit drier and sunnier where we are! I’m beginning to forget what blue skies look like 
They are such a hit or miss I’ve applied for them before my condition but I am currently in the process of reapplying because I was told that’s the best option.Appealing may seem long winded especially has you’ve already gone through the long process but giving it another go wouldn’t hurt I would keep trying especially has it’s something you need but regardless I do wish you all the best keep staying strong we’ve got this x