Heat from my girlfriend in bed drives me bonkers

Hi there everyone, i’ve only been a member for a week or so but feel it’s time for my first thread so here goes.

For a little background info, i was diagnosed with RRMS in Jan 2009 when i went numb from the waist down, i then had another relapse around Aug 2011 where i went numb from the chest to my fingers and toes, the MS hug, weekness, minor twitches and other horrid pains (i couldn’t dry my feet without nearly crying…oh the memories) and brain fog etc etc. Now a year or so on and mainly recovered bar pains in my hands and general weekness and well, could go on but don’t wanna be repeating what many people have probably experienced for themselves. Has anyone just ritten a list of their strange feelings and thoughts?

Anyway, now that the nights are getting cold, my girlfriend likes to get very snug in bed, with her pyjamas and an extra duvet which only lays across her side of the bed only, this i can cope with and usually get to sleep ok. But if i wake during the night i cannot bare the heat. I’ll lay there trying to get back to sleep but slowly get hotter and hotter and can’t stay still. I’ve tried pulling the covers back but immidiately get too cold. The only thing i can do is scamper off to the spare room to a bed that is my temperature and my temperature only were i lay like a starfish and soon nodd off.

Please say there are other people getting into the spare bed to cool down in winter. And does anyone have any ideas which could help keep me in the marrital bed as it’s getting increasingly more frequent and like everyone knows, we need a good sleep.

Reading back on this it sounds like i need some kind of mirracle, but don’t we all.

Thanks for your time.

Have you thought about twin beds. Ones that can go together when you want to and apart like two singles when you don’t. They can just be pulled apart, during the night if to hot, obviously with this you would need to have two single duvets (1 for each person).

We have always had a king size bed, with a large winter duvet which can heat up from the mains and has two different temperatures for us. I’m beginning to find this unbarable and find myself down stairs on the sofa, which is a cool leather feel.

The twin beds might be the answer, used alot in european countries especially with the bases that can be joined or seperated. I hope this helps. I might take this advice myself and invest in twins.

The idea of the twin beds is food for thought but you’ve put the idea in my head of getting the biggest bed that can afford so we could have our own space…hmmm. Thanks

I’m the same, can’t stand the heat in bed ,ive tried allsorts and think i have best solution …The best setup for me is…Bought a bigger bed so we had more room to be away from one another when im hot , Goose feather pillows stay the coolest … Egyptian cotton for all the bed sheets and pillow cases stays a lot cooler (expensive but works good!) .low tog Goose feather blanket can be taken off yourself or shift it about when your hot but will keep its shape around your other half to keep her warm still and not wake her up…hope this helps bud!

I to have a problem of hot then cold when sleeping this can be frustrating covers on covers of one minute hot then cold, reading the reply single beds would go with one of the larger beds if had the room the bigger the better I think they do a bigger than a king size now but expencive

Im so glad im not alone in this, I start off in our bed,and then during the night i wander into the spare room and sleep soundly in a icy cold bed. I feel sorry for my hubby when he reaches out and discovers im not there,But he knows ill have to sleep. Never tried twin beds,might give it a go,when our bed goes.

You could try what they do in Scandinavia… use completely separate duvets.

Pat x

Sounds like an upsetting and awkward situation.A few years ago I had a bird with rheumatoid arthritis, and with the shennanigans with my legs sometimes,we couldn’t sleep together (in the non biblical way) My flat is teeny weeny so, I built a ‘Double Bed Bunkbed’ This is a bunkbed with double mattress top and bottom.We were on the cover of MS Matters issue 74 or 76,and there was a load of waffle inside.

This was as near as we could get to sleeping together,and worked out well. She liked going on top…

I couldn’t do anything like it now,but a relatively handy bloke could.It cost about £150ish and solved all the boudoir slumber problems.She’s gone and the bed has been altered but it is really handy for hanging onto blah blah.If you’re interested PM me and I’ll sort out some photos of it.


ps Maybe the humidity is making you more sensitive to the heat.I keep it below 35% indoors and am much better for it

Wow! She sounds like dynamite.

Hi I use a special cool max mattress topper and sheets. Also I have a 1 tog duvet from Marks. Then in case that is not enough I keep a chill pad ready to hug if I need to. Sorry but the sheets came from Marks but the others were either from a menopause website (lol) or just amazon. All a bit pricy but wouldn’t be without them. And that is all me sleeping on my own! Good luck

I start the night under the quilt…sometimes… but then when I get too hot I have a quilt cover at the side of the bed and swop to that.

It might be freezing in our room as windows open is non negotiable, but a cover is enough for me,and hubby can’t moan as he has got a king size quilt to himself.


Try putting a fan on, in the summer I have a desk fan oscilating back and forth across the bedroom. The breeze may help relax you, given your partner is already wrapped up warm she probably won’t notice any difference.

Well, my husband who doesn’t have ms , also likes to keep warm in bed. He puts an extra single quilt on top of the double quilt already on the bed. Now I’m not really bothered about the heat, like you are, but I think it looks very untidy (I know no one sees it, lol, but all the same) so if I wake during the night and he is sleeping (he never wakes during the night), I reach over and knock his single quilit onto the floor. I’m not sure if he guesses what happens or not or if he thinks it falls off itself! Guess it depends on how your girlfriend might react but why not try it? Cheryl:-)

Thanks everyone, there’s been some great ideas. Liking the idea of a huge bed