Well. Considering what a few of you lovely lot are going through, my pain is a tad insignificant. To me though, it is a pain I can not put into words. It’s a pain that is controlling my whole being & is making Mrs MS extremely evil right now. I am trying so hard not to be a miserable cow but my constant crying (I’ve had to buy waterproof mascara, that bad) is becoming a bit pathetic. I’m sorry if I am coming over melodramatic, but there’s only 1 place that I can behave this way, with no one judging me or walking on emu eggs.
Right then, I should explain what’s what. My son, has decided to go travelling, 12 months initially but with a view to settle, in Australia. He will (probably) spend his 30th birthday on a beach in Perth. Thousands of miles away from us all & I’m devastated. He is flying on Mothers day (this weekend), doesn’t get better does it? We are & always have been a very, very close family & this reality is making me sick. I want him to have a life, never have regrets about never doing things, but hiding it is hard. I want him to go with a good heart, but it’s broken. I will never hold either of my kids to ransom, never admit how much it is hurting, but you are the only 1s I can be this open with. I apologise if I’m coming over a silly mare, I just needed to explode, at least letting him go Sunday I know that my mates are in the know so to speak. I don’t need a facade on here, I can just say it. I know it’s only Weds, but the hours are going by far to quickly. I will become adjusted to the situation, eventually, but for now I am sad. Sorry if I am demeaning anyone, it’s not intentional, I just feel bereft & empty. It’s not MS, but it is cos without you lot I wouldn’t feel a little better just being able to tell you all how it is. Thank you xx