Hi everyone, Sorry to have a woe is me post, but don’t feel I have anyone else to talk too. I feel miserable most of the day every day, have moments of brightness when my youngest son does something sweet or a nice chat with a mum in the playground, but most of the time I just feel numb. I’m not really depressed as such, just missing something. Most of my friends work full time or live far away, don’t feel I can pick up the phone too them, wouldn’t want to be a pain. I don’t have a lot of friends, never have done, and I don’t find it easy to make any. My local ms centre is about 10 miles away and as I don’t drive, it’s not an option. I have no job at present as I’ve been at home with the kids, don’t think I’d handle full time work, maybe something part time, but who’s going to employ me, been out of work for 5 years. Still waiting for the dvla to get back to me about my licence so hopefully I can take lessons. They have had it for 10 months. Just feeling I’ve no purpose in life, don’t have any interests beyond sleeping and my children. Been dx nearly a year, thought i had got a handle on things but I’m feeling so pointless. Like ms had taken my personality and now I’m a shell. Or even worse I’ve given in to the ms and allowed it to take over me, showing how weak I am. I have only my husbands family around, my mum died when I was 16. Its not that I’m unloved by anyone, just feel numb and no direction in life. Sorry again to ramble just thought if I admitted it I’d feel better. Hope you are all feeling well 
Hi Anon You sound like you’re having a rough time of things. How old is your son? Is he still at home with you, and if so, would mums & toddlers groups be something you could both go to? If you’re at home by yourself, is there any voluntary work you could do locally? It is difficult - I’ve got a 3 year old who has just started going to a preschool 4 mornings a week, so I’m finding ways to fill my mornings too - I totally empathise. I’ve joined a Pilates class which is very sociable and beneficial. As it’s in the morning, there are other people in a similar situation to me. Best wishes Jane xx
hiya anon
i can understand how you are feeling.
i am further down the line with this ms malarkey and hope that u will understand what i am saying…
mindset/thinking is essential to coping with ms. for many on this site they are still working, driving and leading fairly ‘normal’ lives-and i hope they never have to cope with severe ms (yuk, horrible description!)
i am not going to 'go on’about my situation but tell u enough so that u understand why the -mindset is so important…
i am a single mum of 4, 3 still at home. i have no family around me. i have carers in to assist with basic daily tasks so life is pretty hard going! i read about buddhism when i could still see properly and my brain could cope with retaining info. it suggests living in the now-just this moment. its hard to get ur head round initially, believe me! i can now manage 15 mins at a time… its easier to split ur day into 15 min slots. try not to have regrets re what u no longer can do-thats pointless and upsetting, tho understandable! i spend alot of time on my own-i cant tell you how to spend ur time cos we are all different! comp i can manage for 15/20 mins before sight plays up. i cant write (all right side weak) i have a powerchair so sometimes i just go out on that for fresh air-its amazing how the simple things benefit u-u notice more cos u r nearer the pavement! nature is a good example actually-things grow in the hardiest/unlikely places-maybe we should learn from it? life is not easy-but humans have the ability to adapt to whatever life throws at us.
so i believe you will cope-i cant know how-but u can do it! find things in ur life to be grateful for and work on that. thats my 15 mins up writing this! the next will be used to watch some snooker…
take care and keep strong (ur mind i mean), ellie x
Dear Anon, I am sorry that you are feeling so low.
Low mood makes anything bad feel a thousand times worse. I think that a lot of us who have had a brush with depression would say, ‘When not depressed, I can cope with anything: when depressed, I can cope with nothing.’ I have to say that a lot of the things you are feeling made me think that you need a chat with the GP about your mood. Feeling numb, struggling to find much in the way of interest and savour in life, feeling adrift and remote and separated from the busy, busy world… Look, I have no medical credentials whatsoever and I do not want to labour a point that I have no qualifications to make in the first place, but I do think that you need to talk to your GP about how you are feeling. It sounds as though you have tried soldiering on for some time, and it doesn’t seem to be doing the trick. Time for a new approach, I think. Most things (including low mood) tend to be a little easier to fix than MS.
Good luck.
Alison
hiya again just read this…
if u r depressed, you are living in the past
if u r anxious, you are living in the future
if u r at peace, u r living in the present
something to think about eh?
take care, ellie
Hi Anon,
It sounds to me like you need a bit more joy in your life, and maybe something to look forward too. It’s easy to get into a ‘bit of a rut’ where we have too much time to dwell on things. You say you were diagnosed a year ago, but believe me, sometimes it can take a long time to process it.
I know you don’t think you’re depressed, but feelings of ‘numbness’ and loss of enthusiasm for life can be the start of the slippery slope.
Why don’t you give your MS nurse a call and ask to see them? They are usually pretty good at seeing what’s going on with us. Mine referred me for specialist counselling with a lovely lady who came to my house. She agreed that I wasn’t depressed, but it was a wonderful opportunity to just be able to talk to someone who understood where I was coming from, and it really did help me to work through the muddle in my head. Sometimes that’s all we need, someone to talk to about it.
I don’t know if your local MS group has the same facility available, but I know that mine offer a transportation service to those who can’t make their own way there. It costs nothing to find out, and you may find that even if there isn’t, one of the other members will be more than happy to give you a lift. All groups are different, but there’s a good chance that you’ll find someone in a similar position. You could ask if they also have a YUMS group (Young People With MS). I know it might sound odd (as you’d expect it to be the very younguns), but ours has been going for a while now and the members have never left, so there’s a fair few people with young children in the group.
Big (((hugs))) hun, I hope you pick up soon, but never hesitate to post if you need some support or an ear to bend, that’s what we’re here for,
Mags xx
Thank you all so much for your kindness. I am already taking sertraline for low mood and have been for a while. Perhaps this is causing the emotional numbness, who knows? I think I should have a chat with my Gp. I have read all your suggestions and am going to try some of them. Positivity is key here I know that, but I think sometimes I put on a positive outlook when it’s not really how I’m feeling, suppose we all do that to some extent! You have all made me think about things more clearly-something I haven’t done in a while. Thank you all xxxxx
Where do you live? If you’re near me, I’d be happy to give you a lift to the therapy centre! Actually, have been meaning to go to mine for a while, as I understand the MS Therapy Nurse visits there and I would welcome some advice on managing symptoms etc. I’m near the Huntingdon, Cambs branch.
Thank you Susan for the offer, I’m in greater London though, so would be a bit of a drive! Do go along to your branch though, sounds like it could be very helpful. X
I really feel for you and i hope you take the advice of the many wonderful people on this site, i can not say anything any better than what has already been said other than please dont ever ever feel that things are poinless. You have children that i am dam sure would disagree with that statment and your are their one and only mum. Every day you have the ability to create memories for them that will last a lifetime.
I have nt been on this site long but one thing is very evident, it is full of very very stong people including yourself. The fact you are even on here sharing your problems and not giving in proves that.look deep within yourself beyond your mind to your spirit and you will fnd this to be true.When you do feel stronger you may well find yourself then helping someone else who is feeling low which is one of the most special things you can ever do in life.
You will come through this. Stay strong and take care.