Don’t read this if you don’t like long ranting posts!
sorry but I don’t know anyway of getting this stuff off my chest.
I’ve had some “women’s problems” lately and had a hysteroscopy a month ago they put a progesterone laced coil in. I got the results of the hysteroscopy on Wednesday, this is part of what’s winding me up, my OH hasn’t asked what the consultant said! when I got home from the hospital, Instead he ranted about not winning a sports medal at a tournament the previous weekend. He still hasn’t asked four days later.
I really can’t make any excuses for him. ive screamed at him in the last few weeks about what the results could mean and he was totally dismissive, it’s like he’s can’t understand the meaning of anything I’ve tried to tell him.
i have precancerous cells in my womb and may need a hysterectomy in the very near future! I haven’t told him this because it’s my belief he’s not bloody interested, It is obvious that I cannot rely on him to look after me post op and it is a very long recovery.
so now I’m totally screwed!
i found myself in bed last night thinking “just effing die” I’ve told him over and over I’m not myself and haven’t been for a while but he has never acknowledged that there’s anything wrong, I gave in and took a couple of online depression tests one gave me 21 out of 27 points and the other said I was suffering from extreme depression!
i can’t find anything good to say about him, somebody said I’ve got a downer on him but how can I not, I can’t get anything through his bloody thick head. If I say anything he doesn’t like he says I’m in the wrong and more or less that I don’t know what I’m talking about even when he knows nothing and I’ve researched the subject!
he has no interest in anything other than himself and his own interests.
he drove me out of our bedroom a few years ago
he doesn’t show me any affection
he doesn’t show me any gratitude or appreciation for anything I do for him
he wont look after our home decorating or cleaning properly (even Albert Steptoe used to try)
Thing is he knows how to act the part in public! My MS nurse thinks he’s a kind man but I don’t think he’d pee on me if I was on fire. (That might inconvenience him)
ive felt homicidal and have joked about killing him “but don’t fancy prison” and the “womens problems” haven’t helped and now i feel trapped in every possible way and I’m heading for a unavoidable breakdown that he’s doing everything to cause!