Hi all, I’m sorry to whinge but you’re the people who are most likely to ‘get’ this!
Further to my previous post of 28 Nov, am still diagnosed/not quite diagnosed and have next MRI for 2 January.
But I feel so poorly and have no-one to ask, as Neuro told me I can’t use MS centre/nurses yet but have to let my GP know of any new symptoms etc. so that GP can let him know. It’s so confusing!!
I rang Neuro’s secretary today to chase up MRI appt and she is lovely, told me to just phone her direct with any new symptoms as she knows how hard it is to get GP appts and anyway what can they do!! She said she’ll just add them to my notes.
But I honestly have not had a single day without symptoms now since July 2017 and I just feel more and more unwell
I feel constantly travel sick/motion sick for the last 6-8 weeks and the burning in my legs is far more intense than ever before, and has been joined by the feeling of sand in my socks again and stabbing pains across toes.
My lady bits are sort of numb but burning at same time and I can’t go more than 30 mins without needing to wee (no uti according to my testing strips given to me by a nurse friend) - so my poor Border Collie who I love dearly is just not getting the kind of walks and rambles she needs and we love to do together, which is making me sad.
When I go shopping for food, after a while I lose balance probably due to exertion??
And I’ve got electric-y pulses in my head plus occasional double vision in one eye but that only lasts about half an hour each time.
I have had the first cold in years a couple of weeks ago so that may account for some of it but I had no raised temp.
I’m so very very tired but can’t sleep as I feel like my legs are burning from the inside out.
My husband is constantly shouting at my son who is autistic and is very passive/disruptive my daughter is undergoing assessment for autism at 14 and is cutting herself (superficially) again and everyone pushes me away every time I try to even pass the time of day with them, and I feel so lonely. I wake up every morning straight into a war zone, or so it feels - though in reality it’s probably normal but my defences are low.
Reading this back I sound so pathetic and this is NOT me!! I hate how I’m feeling, I hate not knowing for sure, I hate bloody neuro inflammation, I hate being over 50 and mostly I hate feeling such a wimp!!
So can someone please bash me over the head with something in the hope it’ll snap me out of it!! (aha a bit of my humour still lurks)
I feel tired, old and, for the first time since all this started, I feel scared and down - I’ve lost my positive attitude and don’t know how to get it back. I came off sertraline a few weeks ago and am wondering whether I was being too optimistic and should go back on it for a while longer.