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Don't know what to do

I am sat here while my husband of 21 years is packing to leave me this morning he has found himself a flat to move to and sorted his new life out with me out of the picture he said he can't take anymore of me controlling him and my mood swings. I have been suffering with panic attacks and anxiety for the last 2 years and don't know if this is too blame or resentment haven't spoken to anybody but him about it as feel too ashamed he said its my problem and i need to sort myself out feel like my life is coming to an end today xx

I can't begin to imagine what you must be feeling or going through.

MS exacts a high toll on us and our loved ones.

You say you haven't spoken to anyone else about this, perhaps the time has come for some professional help? Your GP or MS nurse can refer you for counselling.

 Although today must be devastating for you, it may well not be the final chapter in your marriage. You say you have been married for 21 years so there is obviously a strong bond between you. Your husband may need a break, he may also find professional help beneficial in helping him deal with the pressures that you are on you both.

Take care

x

Have you spoken to your GP or ms nurse - if you have one. lt sounds as if you need anti-depressants. We don't always realise that depression can be causing the problems. Also, do get you GP to check your vitb12 - and vitd3 levels. We - with ms are usually very deficient of these important vits. A low level of both can cause mood swings. Magnesium and Zinc can also help with this.

l do take LDN - and l find it makes me feel more positive - more able to cope with symptoms.

Once you are feeling better about yourself l am sure your life will improve - whether it is on your own - and there is a lot going for living on your own - Don't blame your ms for your marriage break up. Be good to yourself - take this opportunity to kick-start a new future.

F.

Have courage. Your life may be changed but it’s not coming to and end. An unsupportive husband is worse than no husband at all. You have no reason to feel shame, that boot fits on another’s foot.

You need to deal with practical issues first – even though you probably feel like diving under the duvet.

  • Secure your bank accounts – make sure that you are left with some immediate money.
  • Secure an income – do you claim benefits in your own right? Sort out informing DWP about your change of circumstances
  • Secure your home. Can you afford your home on your own? Get a single person discount on your council tax
  • Don’t make any decisions abut the future today. Give the dust time to settle after which you may need to consult a solicitor or family mediation to sort out financial issues.
  • Make an appointment with your GP to see if they can help with your mood issues.

I know that it is the worst possible day to be thinking about these things but it might help you to be busy and purposeful. I haven’t mentioned children because I assume that after 21 years they will probably be teenagers and although they will be affected by marriage breakdown it’s not like dealing with little kids.

The CAB website has a section on marriage breakdown that you might find helpful.

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_family/family_index_ew/ending_a_marriage.htm

 

Jane

 

 

 

 

I can't really add any more than what everyone else has said except try to take all the advice given and we are thinking of you.

Take care of yourself.

Janet x

Hi, I just want to send my hugs to you and hope things get better....but I guess that won`t happen for a while, eh?

When things do settle down, you may come to realise that the relationship was damaging to both of you.......with or without MS.

luv POllx

Good luck - it's horrible when this happens (ask me how I know...) but whatever happens there is light at the end of it (again, ask me how I know). Be strong, and remember there are lots of folk here rooting for you

Andrew

Thanks everyone for your kind words xx

Today is a new month how are you feeling/coping?

All the best   still thinking of you

Pip