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family life ms mood swings/upsetting household

Hello is there anyone who has a partner wife/husband who has ms and you have little kids my husband gets so angry and shouts alot we know he cannot help it but it gets me down we hope when he gets to see ms neurologist he will be able to give him something to calm him down.

Hi Julie… how awful for you and the children! Not sure if you are new… but if so, welcome…

Might be worth you posting on the ‘carers’ board as well.

I know what your husband must be going through… but really he needs to get some control. I think when someone is dx with MS the family sometimes tip-toe around them and let them get away with all sorts. Don’t do that Julie. If he’s out of order tell him so. Tell him he shouldn’t take it out on you or the kids… it’s not fair.

No need to wait for neuro appointment to get some help. Why not get him to go to GP? The GP can prescribe something to calm him down… or antidepressants as he’s most likely depressed.

Amitriptyline is a drug that helps nerve pain in MS but it is also an antidepressant. The GP could prescribe it… or something else.

If he is having problems coming to terms with having MS, a short course of counselling can really help a lot. The GP can refer for that… but it’s getting him to agree to go of course.

One way or another he really needs to get his temper under control. Don’t think I’m being hard. I have MS myself and know how very difficult it can be… but it is unfair of him to take it out on you and the children.

Hope this helps hon,

Pat x

Putting everything you’ve said together, it sounds like your husband desperately needs a proper meds review. He may be depressed and that, plus pain and fatigue (never mind a new diagnosis of MS!), will make anyone irritable and angry.

Make a double appointment with your GP and don’t leave until you’ve got some help!

Karen x

Rang doctors ,his doctor is in on friday afternoon so going to ring up friday morning and make him an appointment i will drag him there if i have to lol.Hopefully they might give him something i will go in with him xx julie

Hi Julie

My wife has noticed my mood swings, but one thing I find that helps is going to the gym; I can’t do most of what I used to do, but just plodding along on the cross trainer or spinning bike at a low speed untill I’ve worked up a sweat does really help to calm me down and make me more positive. Not sure if this possible in your situation, but exercise, in whatever form or setting, is a real help for me and many others.

Hi Julie

Dealing with the possibility of having ms isn’t easy, he may also be very tired but I agree with everyone, he needs to be told that his current behaviour is unacceptable. There are medications that can help but he can’t take his anger out on you.

I hope things improve for you.

Min x

Hi Julie Sorry to hear your troubles , I feel am in a similar position to your husband . Although I am not dx yet hopefully will get there soon . I am so stressed and feel so tired most of the time , not knowing what is wrong with me is messing with my head . I have been off work since september and I am on half pay and we are struggling . By the time my wife and children come home I am usually tired although I hate excuses , I have become moody and angry more than ever, I don’t mean to be like this and would love not to be , apart from taking antidepressants not sure what to do . I need to get back to normal and work . My wife sums this up by saying that she wants her husband back ! I agree with her. I hope your husband gets the help he needs , I am sure he will . Peter

Hi Peter If you are half pay from work, do you know that you can claim contribution based employment support allowance for up to 365 days? It pays about £70 per week. Xx

[quote=peter_thegallery]Hi Julie Sorry to hear your troubles , I feel am in a similar position to your husband . Although I am not dx yet hopefully will get there soon . I am so stressed and feel so tired most of the time , not knowing what is wrong with me is messing with my head . I have been off work since september and I am on half pay and we are struggling . By the time my wife and children come home I am usually tired although I hate excuses , I have become moody and angry more than ever, I don’t mean to be like this and would love not to be , apart from taking antidepressants not sure what to do . I need to get back to normal and work . My wife sums this up by saying that she wants her husband back ! I agree with her. I hope your husband gets the help he needs , I am sure he will . Peter[/quote Hello peter i know what you mean it takes alot out of you money worrys, not knowing and waiting to see neurologist is the worst bit when you get an answer at least you can get your head round it,lol so to speak .My husband needs the medication ,When he gets tired he is at his grumpyest i tell the kids to play in their room sometimes but you know what little kids are like, they start arguing and all hell breaks loose.I am sure your wife knows you dont mean to be like this how long have you been together? Me and my husband been together 20 years married 13 years and have two kids aged 7 and 5.Hope you get some answers soon . Take care keep your chin up x julie

[quote=“Clucker Pigeon”]

Hi Julie

My wife has noticed my mood swings, but one thing I find that helps is going to the gym; I can’t do most of what I used to do, but just plodding along on the cross trainer or spinning bike at a low speed untill I’ve worked up a sweat does really help to calm me down and make me more positive. Not sure if this possible in your situation, but exercise, in whatever form or setting, is a real help for me and many others.

[/quote] Hi cluker pigeon lol that user name makes me laugh, his brother lives just round the corner he went round to see him the otherday he came back in a better mood than he left the house in.I think you are right he needs to get out more on his own ,even if he only pops round his brothers or his mates.He isnt very sporty he used to like going for walks but as you can probibly guess he struggles to walk far with vision loss and his legs playing up . x julie