Hi all… I hope you are all doing well,well as well as we all can. Like my title states I’m not after sympathy or replies, I just need to talk and get it all off my chest as I struggle to talk to anyone…
i was diagnosed back in September 2017, at the time married with a 12 year old. Now my marriage in all honesty wasn’t good at all but as I’m sure we all do I stayed and never havd the guts to leave even though I wanted to for many many years! I know some of you maybe thinking I’m a fool for staying in a bad marriage but I think I did it for my daughter! Anyway I got diagnosed and it hit me hard and my hubby just Made jokes!!!(even though he states he was joking) but to me it hurt!! Anyway a man I know showed me what a proper man was really like, listeners to me, was concerned, always asked if I was ok, and he listened! And I opened up to him ( I have never ever opened up to anyone) but I did to him, and I had a whole new outlook on life, realised I needed to do what was best for me and left him!!! Terrible terrible times, he cried promised the world but I felt it was too late!! Anyway to the present day he has changed BUT… I seem to have lost all feelings inside of me!! I feel dead inside I really do I don’t seem to care about anything!!! All I do is go to work come home look after my daughter and repeat day in day out!!! I have nothing left to give! And I don’t know what to do, I don’t sleep, hardly eat, and worst of all I seem to forget or refuse to accept that I have MS!!!
I just don’t know what to do with my life! Like I said earlier I don’t expect anyone to reply, but even though everyone knows I have MS no one cares! No one asks how I am, my bosses just seem to give me more and more work which I struggle with but just try and plod on!!
As for my hubby, we talk, and he keeps saying he loves me but for me, nothing!!! There is nothing there!! I feel nothing!!
Apologies for the long post… but like I said it’s easy just to type it on here… you all have MS, some of you may even feel the same?? I don’t know it’s probably just me
thanks for reading xx