Just think i need to get this all out in writing as finding it hard to talk about it but right now im feeling the worst ive every left about life…i honesty have been having feelings like whats the point in livin anymore…it all seems worthless and i just cnt see it getting better.
i was diagnoised in april. thought i was dealing with it well…probably to well so maby its all hitting my now. Since been diagonised me and my bf of 6 years brought a house…now i regret this sooooo much as we are not getting on…hes not coping with my ms very well…hes constantly worrying that im getting worse and the fact i cant do much to help at home/cnt drive/walk very far doesnt help but i thought he was ok with this…but now he lovesss to throw this back in my face. im finding it really hard to cope so have moved back into my mums as just need time away from him. Ive realised that he is a very difficult person to live with and i think this on top of having to deal with my ms is not helping…i just dont no what to do and feel like if i wasnt here he wudnt care and would be a weight off his shoulders as then hes rid of his gf with ms and the burden i bring on his life. Im just sooo sooo sad atm and it doesnt help that 3 of my friends have got engaged recently and are all happy planning weddings…i just feel angry that they have so much happiness and i have none right now and really cnt see me having ne netime soon…
Ive got an appoit to talk to a conseller next week so maby this will help. How have others coped after diagonisive and what it brings?? Just need someone to chat to as friends just dont get it.