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divorce

The man i married 31 years ago doesnt like change and i am changing i no longer can do the things i did in the past also dont want to be in company that has been horrible to me in the past when i was fit i ignored it now i cant and wont., Has anyone been there and has it resulted in divorce. I know lots of people dont get MS and what it does to you even my gp said you will be totally different and your husband needs to accommodate this , he said she was a quack

I wish i could afford to walk away

I’m so very sorry Trish, it sounds like a living nightmare, as if you need other problems on top of MS?

Thinking of you and praying you find some resolution.

Take care,

Love Nina xx

Massive (((hugs))) Trish x. It’s never easy to stop 31 years of habbit history. It’s easier to put a stop to how many years of being unhappy - and hoping for the impossible of things getting better. I’ve been there & will pm you x

One thing for certain, it is always possible to leave because it sounds like things will only get worse. Xx

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my husband works away quite a bit and i think this is why he is not getting the MS. i am on a small pension so my standard of living would crash , however when i reach retirement i will have state pension and other pension by that time my health will probably be done so i can move unto sheltered accommodation. I think my husband has OCD , he constantly tidies when he is home, last night was funny asked my son to put alarm on as i was going to bed early he got up this morning and asked if i had been downstairs said no, he said alarm was off, when he checked front door it was unlocked he forgot to lock up and put alarm on, said dont tell your dad, he said do yo think i am daft, we both laughed. He is also away quite a bit over the next month and i have sent him information on how MS affects you he probably cant cope with the fact i no longer can do things and unlike my son cannot adapt because of OCD

trish

I think because I have always been very independent also my husbands family have a lot of disability and afraid the only way they can deal with it is to make you more disabled I do some charity work helping adults learn new skills and it is the family that cause most of the problems, spoke to the woman employed by the charity and asked if it was only my learners that had this issue, she said no it is pretty rampid families think they know best but can end up making the person more disabled my son is great but he picks up on the signs , he gave my other son a row because he was trying to help me go into my house , he said how does she manage when we are not here, there was a question asked on Facebook , does your family understand your MS 400 replied no

How rotten for you. I can’t even give you good advice. I’m luckily still getting told off for worrying too much but it’s tough not to when I rely on him for everything (in my case had to stop driving/work/being independent). After 31 years together, I’d think you do expect a bit better

Hope things can work out ok

Sonia x

Hi Trish , i dont know what to say but i feel for you . Ive been married 33 years and since ive been ill it’s been a real knock to my confidence . I married my 1st love , I met him at 16 and married him the day before my 19th birthday. We’ve both changed far beyond recognition. My illness has altered me so much …i still find myself asking him would he have married me if he’d have known what would happen in the future. Thankfully he still says yes. We’ve had seven children together 3 on the autistic spectrum. I was my 26 year old daughter’s main carer but now he’s had to take that on as well as working fulltime . I feel for him , I love him so much but could cry over the changes I’ve gone through that have made his life more difficult . All you can do is ask him the questions. Do you think it’s worth working on ? 31 years is a lot to throw away if you can rekindle that love that you had for each other. I find that I go through stages of self destruct, like sometimes I find I hurt him because I don’t feel worth much myself. I’m still working through a lot of negative thoughts , a year ago I had cbt and it helped tremendously. You have to feel that you love yourself before you are able to love others. Take care Michelle and Frazer xx

I am a lot more calmer and the reply from the facebook page makes me feel i am not alone. i believe the fact that i have been the organizer all my life when that organizer cannot do the things she did in the past folk cannot cope, my sister is the same, i ran after her all her days and now i cant the phone has gone silent. When i was diagnosed i said to my husband if you wish to go i will not hold it against you. He said no however i think I am better at coping than he is. I have had to cope with a lot like you and your husband have , and that old statement what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger is very true. Thanks for your wishes trish

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Ive been married 47 yrs and have always done everything ,cleaned cooked done washing ironed paid bills etc etc etc and worked part time.I am now in a wheelchair so my husband does everyting for me,he is not well himself so you can imagine how hard it is for him.Things get him down sometimes but we keep each other going (both having a good sense of humour helps).Dont get me wrong some days we cold strangle each other, we spend 24/7 with each other so we dont do too bad. Good friends and family so i cant complain.I would just like a day pain free now and again. Im so sorry to hear about you Trish and i hope things work out for you soon. Take care. Jo

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the problem with hubby is he has OCD but will not admit it plus he doesnt like change so as my health is getting worse he isnt coping. A perfect example;e is i now refuse to visit his mum and sister because the amount of verbal shit they have said to me over the years is ridiculous there is no one in my family they havent had a pop at, and people in glass houses comes to mind. However if he goes to his mother on a saturday morning he refuses to go back out in the afternoon, all to do with OCD