Forum

Devastated

Everyday living
#1

I am totally devastated, my wife of 21 years told me 2 months ago that she no longer loves me and we have been separated since, in the same house but separate bedrooms ever since. I do not blame my MS totally although I think it has been a contribution to my moods and physical problems. She was my world and we have been together for 25 years and have 3 great teenage children and live in a house which we have spent many years updating to suit our lifestyle.

I do not know what to do she tells me that the marriage is over but she has no plans to leave anytime soon. I still love her very much but have had to come to terms with her choice. We are friendly enough in our dealings about the house and the kids. If anyone has any experience in this sort of situation I could do with some advice and maybe a shoulder to cry on if possible. I am fairly positive normally and still work to support the family although this is a new and difficult situation for me.

Any help or advice would be most welcome, Sorry to moan

All the best

Chris

#2

Hi Chris

 

I am so sorry to hear this.

 

One day at a time, you will get through this.

 

Take care

 

x

#3

That is my only plan as you say one day at a time.

Thanks for the thoughts

Chris

#4

I am very sorry that you are having going through such a tough time.  No advice, I'm afraid, just sympathy.  Life can be desperately hard.

Alison

x

 

#5

Hi Alison

Thanks for your message yes I guess I know life can be hard from the last 15 years going through all the tests and stuff ultimately leading to diagnosis of secondary progressive MS in 2007

I will remain positive if possible

All the best

Chris x

#6

I'm so sorry to hear this news Bob.

If she's still happy to live in the same house and your relationship is friendly it sounds to me (and please, I'm no expert!), that she still loves you on some level, it's just the fizz and excitement she's missing?

If she's willing to give it a go, why not try RELATE - http://www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html - life is tough, your relationship might have mellowed to friendship but it isn't over yet.

anu xx

p.s. on a personal note and I'm sure you aren't - don't appear to be desperately needy to 'have her back' - get on with your own life - sign up for evening classes, go to the gym, develop a life outside of your mellowed relationship - who knows - it could ignite that spark again :)

Good luck !!

#7

Thanks for that advice I have already thought about getting some interests outside the home but cannot go to the gym anymore due to poor mobility and getting round on crutches, I have suggested relate but she will not talk about that . My problem is I am desperate to have her back and I guess it is obvious to her, I cannot help it I feel so strongly for her!!

Regards chris

xx

 

#8

Thanks for that advice I have already thought about getting some interests outside the home but cannot go to the gym anymore due to poor mobility and getting round on crutches, I have suggested relate but she will not talk about that . My problem is I am desperate to have her back and I guess it is obvious to her, I cannot help it I feel so strongly for her!!

Regards chris

xx

 

#9

I'm very sorry to hear about this. Maybe in time some form of counselling will help, but the 'normal' reaction must be to feel as you do, and I imagine it will be very difficult on a day-to-day basis to live together in the same house.

Wishing you well

B x

#10

Thanks for that , yes it is difficult to live in the same house but I could not cope on my own at present and would need to plan well in advance if I wanted to move out, one day at a time I guess

regards

Chris

#11

Thanks for that , yes it is difficult to live in the same house but I could not cope on my own at present and would need to plan well in advance if I wanted to move out, one day at a time I guess

regards

Chris