I’m going mad! Seriously, If I don’t get help soon I’m going to ruin everything for everyone. My moods are so dark that it’s affecting my husband and our kids. Ive had RRMS for 8yrs, depression ever since, had counselling, a break down and spent a week in a mental health unit, and various pills, and am taking Duloxetine (been on it now for 5yrs). I d have good/normal days but the bad/dark days are getting worse and more frequent. I turn into a horrible, miserable monster for a day or 2 for no reason and feel like topping myself; it’s awful and I never used to be like this. I want it to stop so that I don’t lose all that’s dear to me. Could I have a leision on a particular area of my brain that’s affecting my behaviour??? Is this behaviour ‘normal’ in MS??? I urgently need help/advice before it’s too late. Please please please.
Hello, you can have support from me I will help, I know how you feel I am in the same boat it is bloody awful. Counselling can help, however I think talking to people in the same situation helps. On this forum you have it… Also talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Depression is an illness that know one knows unless they have had it, I find keeping a diary helps you can write down your thoughts and feelings.
With MS comes depression and those 2 together are a nightmare because they are invisable to everyone. I had very dark days and never wanted anyone or anything, even my old friends from yrs ago I pushed them away. January 2011 I had a breakdown, and needed help. Please see your GP ASAP and talk about how you feel.
Sending you love and hugs
Jan xx
The only advice l can give is to tell you what works for me - and that is High Dose Vit B12 and Vit D3 and LDN - All three help with mood - mental alertness - and a general feel good feeling. You only have to google vitamin b12 deficiency ms -and vitamin d3 deficiency ms - for all the information. l do also take 20g Amitriptyline. LDN boosts your endorphins - which is why it makes you feel more alive - more positive and more able to cope with ms symptoms.
l have had spms for 30yrs - and have been taking the above for about 5yrs - and feel so much better for it.
F.
Hi
That sounds a pretty horrible place to be. Getting some therapy would probably help, and any way you can express safely how you feel, be that journalling or art therapy, or talking to your fella or friends.
And find things that you enjoy too, and make it a discipline to do something you lovfe every day. Something I’ve done for a while is to review my day or week, and notice the things that energised me or gave me life, where I felt I was really being me, or I felt nourished my soul etc. And then I notice the things that had the opposite effect - the drained me, where I didn’t feel like I was being myself etc.
Chances are, over time you’ll notice similar things come up. So it makes sense to do the things that energise you, and, where possible, choose not to do the things that drain you. So, for example, I know that getting contact with nature is good for me. And I know that watching mindless rubbish on the telly leaves me feeling empty.So given a free evening, it’ll be much better for me if I was gaze at the clouds for a while or get into the countryside, rather than watching whatever’s on the box.
I hope you start getting the support you need, to help you grieve your MS-free life and to help you live & grow.
Dan
(P.S talk to your husband & kids to let them know you love them).
Chin up luvvy, you are not alone when you are on here. People with MS can suffer from depression and emotional liability. I found a bit on it here…http://www.nationalmssociety.org/about-multiple-sclerosis/what-we-know-about-ms/symptoms/emotional-changes/index.aspx
I know that you are in a dark place now and it seems that it will never end, but sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can reach for the surface.
As the guys/gals have said, a supportive GP is what you need right now hun. You don’t say how old you are but it may be worth keeping track of your down days and your menstrual cycle. Hormones do seem to affect the symptoms of ladies with MS and I know that I find it much more of a struggle when I’m premenstrual than I used to (I think of it as a form of temporary insanity, lol!). At least if it is hormone related, you have a rough idea when it is going to happen and can make arrangements so that things are as stress free as possible for those days. You can also put up a red flag (or pink post-it) so the other half and the kids know that you’re not feeling quite yourself.
If it’s more often than that, maybe counselling or even a change of medication might hit the spot and as the others have said, vitamins can be a great help. Vitamin D3 (cheaper on Amazon than Holland and Barret) and Vitamin B complex (accent on the ‘complex’) are excellent and I find Wellwoman multivits (the brand make is good but Holland and Barret do a cheaper version) are a good boost too and help with energy levels.
And be good to yourself hun. As mums. we often expect far too much of ourselves and feel guilty and stressed if we can’t live up to the ideal. I’m sure the kids/hubby would rather you were happier and less stressed than frantic and fretting about stuff that really isn’t important in the grand scheme of things.
Sending you big (((hugs))),
Mags xx