Dating new partner and intimacy.

Hi there. I’m all new to MS as have a new partner with PPMS. We’ve obviously discussed his condition and how it impacts his life. He’s absolutely fantastic, has a very positive mindset and remains as active as possible. He’s an inspiration. The only issue is how it affects our sex life. I know it’s not the be all and end all whatsoever. I view it as the icing on a great cake. However, as much as he reassures me it’s not me I’m really struggling with his frequent inability to achieve orgasm. My head knows it’s down to nerve damage, yet it’s making me feel I’m failing as a partner too. It’s important to me he enjoys it as much as I do. I’m not selfish yet I feel it’s all one way. I’m so sorry to even post this, as there’s many dealing with much more awful side affects of MS. I just don’t know how to get my head around not feeling like I’m letting him down as a partner. He is great at communicating, we talk about it and I’ve even suggested we just don’t have intercourse to take any pressure off him (which he doesn’t want to do), and to avoid how I feel about it. I’m hoping for some advice on how to view it differently from a partners perspective. I know it’s a small thing in the scheme of things, and I feel awful it’s affecting me as much as it is, considering what he has to cope with himself…

Hi, you sound like a very loving partner and it is so good that you 2 are able to discuss the issue.

Has your chap spoken to his neuro/MS nurse about this?

I’m sorry but I dont know anything about this and hope someone else will come along to help.

Keep enjoying each other’s company.
love Boudsx

I’m a bloke with PPMS. It definitely changes things in the trouser department!

Message me if you want to discuss - it’s too personal for an open thread.


Hi there Shirl
This is a good place to find out more facts of ppms and receive suggestions & advice for yourself as a partner being affected by your loved one’s ppms.
Love making is physical and emotional isn’t it? I dare say many of us, particularly over 55’s and with ppms, no longer participate in the act, either due to physical disability or pain. Yet for those not so affected, they may still have the normal, natural need to complete love making.

This is achieved in different ways, imagination and close contact. It doesn’t have to reach a climax to either partner to be enjoyed.
The fact your guy is so attentive and willing to discuss this aspect so openly is brilliant.
You may be worrying that you’re letting him down or not actually satisfying him.
If so, you’d be wrong. He is more than happy with your relationship and there are many more important things to relationships.
A smile from across a room, an unexpected hug, laughter and enjoying each others company going out or staying in.
All ways of showing his love and you reciprocate.
Rejoice Shirl, for these times he’s able to participate, and believe him, you’re not failing him at all
I wish you good luck and hope your relationship continues to be so positive.

Chrissie x