My partner and i are both 32 with a 2.5 year old and 2nd due in March.
He got diagnosed in January this year and we are both very much struggling with the diagnosis.
At the time he gor diagnosed we were taking a break due to various issues.
He isnt a very open person and struggles to open up and show his emotions without anger and frustration.
We have hardly had a proper talk about his diagnosis as when we did talk and he asked about my feelings towards it he got snappy and like my feelings didnt count as it’s his illness.
He has had some issues with his arm and numbness which i believe is paresthesia, also he recently had his flu and pneumonia jab and not long after has had vision issue’s in one eye. Struggling to get hold of his ms nurse currently.
Everything regarding ms is a struggle to talk about.
He geta angry ans shuts me down saying i dont help when i tell him to stop googling things.
Im scared and i know he is deep down too.
I dont know what to do or say for the best and im worried for our future and my kids and our financial situation.
Currently he is able to work but i dont know when or if that will change!
Please someone help as im not coping well and need to be strong for my partner, son and unborn baby!
Hi May, oh love , I do feel sorry for you both.
My hubby had trouble accepting my MS for a long time.
The MS Society do very good leaflets on how to understand what’s happening and give useful advice.
Have a look and maybe send for some.
I do hope things improve.
Last year I got to the end of my tether after 25 years of PPMS. I need a lot of help with many things, but I prayed to Jesus for help. I became a Christian and am so much better.
Bless you and your family.
Thank you for your reply.
Can i ask as im still learning about it all, what is PPMS and how would we know if my partner has that? X
Hi again. There 4 main types of MS. But all types can vary immensely.
Benign…usually happens only once, stays in the body but causes little trouble
RRMS…Remitting Relapsing…where there can be months or sometimes even years, with no activity and then relapses or attacks. Attacks can cause severe symptoms, but might go away…may leave some degree of disability. In RRMS there are some drugs (DMDs), which can delay attacks.
SPMS…Secondary Progressive MS…this often follows RRMS if drugs fail.
Primary Progressive MS…my type…is the severest, where there are no rest times from continual progression/disability.
Your partner’s neuro should tell him which type he has. It is important to know, as it could denote if DMDs (disease modifying drugs) might help.
hope this helps.
Hi @May1990 I have just come across your post - how are things going for you?
My husband was diagnosed 2 years into our marriage and I was pregnant at the time; honestly I think we both struggled with accepting what was happening and didnt really talk about it for a long time.
However eventually we realised how important it was to open up with each other and with other people.
What worked for me was waiting until a time in the day when we were just enjoying each others company, and asking how he was feeling physically? with the hope that it opened up a conversation.
Does your partner know how it makes you feel when he shuts you down?