Forum

Childrens Rights

My son and x daughter-in-law divorced several yrs ago, things between them have been patchy to say the least, during the summer holidays this yr he had an accsess visit from his boys 8and 11 yrs old.

Whilst they were there they made alligations of phyical and emotinal abbuse from her now partner, my son contacted social serveces and they came to his home with with the police after hearing what the boys had to say they said because they could not give times and dates they could not do anything, and referred them to the ss in there home town.

the boys stayed on longer than they should have whilst my son thought it was being investigated by the ss. but then got a letter saying he hsd to appear in the county court for directions as to the boys welfare, he went and the ss spoke for his xwife and hadnt even spoken to the boys to get there side of the story.

The outcome was that they had to be returned to there mum by 2 pm today.

BUT yesterday afternoon she turned up at his door with a police escort to remove the boys from him they were histerical and locked themselfs in the bathroom it took 45mins to talk them out and when they were dragged out side to there mum they were screaming so loud that all the neighbours came out the youngest one was on the ground screaming i want to stay with my dad whilst the older one just turned his back on her.

My son couldnt do anything as if he had tried to stop this he would have been arested. He,s totally devestated he feels that hes let them down and dosnt know what to do now, theres no leagal aid now and hasnt got the funds to go through the courts and we dont know what to do now.

I phoned the sun newspaper but they didnt want to know as theres no proof that the boys are being abused and they cant print the names of them they say they get lots of calls like this and they cant help as children can be molded into saying things that are not true.

The thing is this isnt the first time we have tryed to get them help from ss and each time they give the mum them i have paper work from before and one of the things on it is a social worker put the youngest who was 5 at the time in front of a chart showing different emotions and asked him to say which one was like his mum, he looked at it for a while and turned and said theres not a CRUEL one there is there.

So what rights do my grandchildren have or are we just waiting till one of them is badly hurt or killed before they act.???

ah anon

what a dreadful story, you must be at your wits end.

children and young peoples services should be the ones to help/advise you.

its shocking how fathers get fewer rights than mothers.

although i’m desperate to be a grandma, i’m relieved that neither of my sons show any inclination.

i really hope that you can find help to get this situation resolved

carole x

The only advice I can give is to go to the Citizens Advice Bureau who may be able to point you in the right direction. The other option is to phone Childline who may be able to tell you legally what you can do. My prayers are with you & your family Kelly xx

Your post made me cry!

There is a lovely lady on the forum who has worked in law who might come along to help. I am not sure if this is her area of expertise though.

Kelly has given a good reply too. I really hope this gets sorted quickly before those boys have to suffer any more.

Teresa.x

How upsetting for you all

You could try contacting Families Need Fathers. They have access to legal advice and also, I think have a forum where you could perhaps get advice from people in similar situations. I do hope it is resolved quickly.

I am so sorry to hear you are all going through this, those poor children, I really feel for you and your son. x

Some good suggestions already, thought you could also try the below :

I have just had a quick look on gov.uk (the governments own website) to see if you would be entitled to legal aid, its called ‘check if you can get legal aid’ after answering a few questions it will tell you if you are entitled, i think, although i could be wrong, that if there is abuse, mental, physical etc with the children you may well be entitled to the legal aid, if you are it will then point you in the right direction to get help with a court order etc.

I hope this is of some help and it gets resolved quickly.

xx

Their dad should contact the school and inform the head teacher of the issues. Often schools have mentors who work with children for a variety of reasons, but mainly they act as a ‘safe’ person if a child is upset or distressed.

If the school records any signs of physical or emotional abuse it will involve all of the appropriate agencies.

Have your son ensure that the school knows any letters/papers sent home should also be copied to him.

Liz

Many thanks all for your replys, i have passed them on to my son, im gonna also try to get grandparents rights as im no allowed to se them .

i will keep you informed to what happens thanks again.

Excellent advice from Liz - your son should contact the school to alert them to the real possibility that the children are being abused at home. The school should have a designated member of staff who deals with child protection issues. I would hope that if they suspected a child was being abused they would bring in the Social Services. Desperately frustrating for your son - I think if I was in his position I would ring the SS telling them that the children are not safe and keep badgering them until they intervene.

Hi, this is so wrong! I think a school welfare officer could help. Something has to be done, before the children are treated in an even worse way.

My thoughts are with you, your son and grandsons.

Good luck and bless you for being a concerned and caring granpa.

pollx

[quote=“Treek”]

Your post made me cry!

There is a lovely lady on the forum who has worked in law who might come along to help. I am not sure if this is her area of expertise though.

Kelly has given a good reply too. I really hope this gets sorted quickly before those boys have to suffer any more.

Teresa.x

[/quote] Hi anon, I’m afraid Teresa is right…family law is well outside of my area of expertise. What I do know is that your son needs advice from a Solicitor specialising in family law. The rules governing the provision of legal aid differ somewhat where children are involved and in any event, most firms will provide a free, initial, half hour consultation which will enable you to gain professional advice regarding your sons position and options open to him. I don’t know what area you are in but if you want to pm me, I’d be only too happy to find a reputable and recommended law firm for you. Catherine Xx

Please look at what CAFCASS can do - we didn’t have half the awful things going on but when my stepdaughter wanted to spend more time with her Dad and her mother said no, my husband applied for more custody (previously he’d been denied sole access) and the court put CAFCASS onto it - the resulting report was confidential but I was interviewed as well as all the other parties, I was perfectly honest (I’m not the mothering type and that was ok as I cared and she saw me as a friend, she was about 11 then and they had a session alone with her and they told my husband afterwards what exercises they’d done and what it said about her relationships with all of us. The point is they were really helpful and really put the childs needs first.

It sounds like an awful situation so I’m wishing you and your family all the best, good luck

Sonia x

This is so sad, my heart goes out to you. I absolutely agree with the advice about your son contacting the children’s school and making them aware. Every school has a member of staff responsible for Safeguarding of Pupils and that is who your son must ask to speak to. If they make a referral to Social Services on the strength of information received from the children then there is more chance that Social Services will act.

They can also arrange counselling for the children and maybe a Parent Support Adviser who can work with the whole family to suggest better strategies at home for dealing with stress etc.

Just wanted to send you <> and let you know that I will be thinking about you. Good luck, please keep us updated, it must be so awful for you and I hope you get to see them again soon

Tracey xxx