Forum

Burden

I feel such a burden on my OH. He’d be able to do so much more without me. I am an unnecessary chore.

I bet he does’nt agree with you he probably sees you as the light of his life - at least I hope so. Life can be difficult but we have to make the most of it. I hope you feel better soon Big Warm (((((((((HUGS))))))) coming your way Mary xxxx

i am having a terrible day too - don’t worry, you are not alone. i’m sure your partner doesn’t feel that way - we all feel like a burden sometimes. life is not perfect, none of us are perfect. it’s ok to feel what you’re feeling, just ride it out and it will pass. tomorrow is another day! xxkk

I hear you. It is hard to be on the taking end of a relationship. I don’t have an OH but my daughter bears the brunt of my MS. She moved house yesterday and was helped by her husband’s parents. That should have been me. Instead I sat at home. I agree with real ms’er though if the tables were turned I’d look after my daughter willingly so I should accept her care with the good grace it is given. Hope you feel better tomorrow. Jane

Dear Anon, I feel for you. I have MS and I am the carer for my mother who has kidney failure. She often says that she is a bother to me, and that my life would be happier if I don’t not have to look after her. But from my view as a carer (especailly for a relative) is that it is done out of love. I do not want my mother to feel like a bother and I keep telling her that she isn’t. I think you OH might feel the same way.- I’m sure he cares because he loves you. Take care Anne

Wendels wrote:

I hear you. It is hard to be on the taking end of a relationship. I don’t have an OH but my daughter bears the brunt of my MS. She moved house yesterday and was helped by her husband’s parents. That should have been me. Instead I sat at home. I agree with real ms’er though if the tables were turned I’d look after my daughter willingly so I should accept her care with the good grace it is given. Hope you feel better tomorrow. Jane

Ive just read your post and can feel you reaching out for support. You are not a burden, not in the way, not an inconvenience. You are a very special lady who happens to be suffering ms. Your daughter loves you and is only doing what yourself would do given the chance. Its hard to accept things when change comes however having no choice doesnt mean people care less, I personally think they care more. I too am sending you lots of (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))). Always try to think you are never alone, there are those of us out there wanting to try give you encouragement. Yes as has been said, tomorrow is another day and you will feel different. You have lots more living to do and unexpected happy events to experience. We are here whenever you need us. You are much much more than a disability :smiley: Lots of luv bren xxx

Anonymous wrote:

I feel such a burden on my OH. He’d be able to do so much more without me. I am an unnecessary chore.

My dear Sister, I can`t call you by your name, but nevertheless I wanted to reply to you. Firstly, I really doubt that your husband sees you as a burden. Having said that, I, myself, sometimes feel the same, to my husband. he has tirelessly looked after me for several years, without any outside help. BUT, I recently decided to apply for Direct Payments. This is a scheme where you can ask for help from the Social Services, but you have control of what happens, if your claim is successful. I now have 2 paid carers which gives my hubby a break. It took me about 3 years to get him to agree to this, as he said it was his job to look after me. Our 2 daughters pleaded with him to get help. He has rheumatoid arthritis which can often be very painful. Why not give DPs some thought, eh? If I can help further, please ask, eh? luv Pollx