Less of the dragon slaying, if you don’t mind!
And a very lucky escape,too; if you want my opinion.
Puff the magic dragon lived in Honalee, not Galilee. I’d like it if it was Honiley, because that’s a village not very far from where I live.
For whom?
The confusion came from a certain grand baby singing By the Rivers of Babylon, please don’t ask me to rationalise where Galilee came from, it is the BF thread after all. x
From whom!
Captain’s log 5th day
There’s Clingons on the starboard bow.
Mr Dc’s birthday today. He’s looking as old as his years & some, bless him. We awoke to what I can only describe as a ‘stewer’, very misty but opaque with lumps in places. The ‘site’ looked better though, we couldn’t see it, (I am convinced James Herbert had stayed here, sure 1 of his most famous novels were written from the experience). " I’m going fishing today" Mr Dc declared. Peace, I thought (gets a little bit claustrophobic when both of us are in the can, besides he was beginning to smell).
He packs his butty bag, 6 bottles of lager, 6 cans of bitter & a bottle of wine, should see him through til teatime, Mum was picking us up for a slap up dinner (beans were starting to lose there appeal by now). Truth is, we could have bunked down at my mum’s, but she has a dog that eats people, didn’t fancy feeding said dog my husband, pain in the arse as he is. I watched him (as far as I could) being consumed by the ‘stew’ (he had already taken me for my date with Herbert). Yipee! a day of telly or in my case the laptop, or so I thought.
Once again, best laid plans & all that. No bloody internet, again. On the phone to the ‘man’, " no internet Mr Daley, can’t watch Jeremy Kyle" (internet has it’s limitations, could only get 1 channel, besides Brittney’s story was getting ever so interesting), " I’ll sort it, can’t think why your’s keeps playing up, nobody else seems to be affected" theres an explaination for this, nobody else is on this s***hole, might be the answer. Now then, if anyone had noticed, this was the reason for my intermittent visits to the forum, I was trying to keep involved in Mr Nobb’s shannanakins, but was unable to. AD, I do have a chastity belt in a size 38, apologize for not relying to your query until now, I can offer a bottom half 1, top half 1 or a full body, stops all fiddling that particular model, I’ll leave it with you, however stocks are low, due to the sale, you need to order soon.
Back to nonexsistent tinternet, I was reduced to listening to the radio on my mobile, needless to say, I fell asleep, day had passed (thank god, only 2 more sleeps til home, this holiday malarkey was taking it’s toll). I was awoken (rudely I add) to Mr Dc’s return, " there’s no f***** fish in the sea" (really?! must be cos you’ve scared the s**t out of them, I only thought this, didn’t say it out loud, he was already on the edge). He then shocked me, “going for a shower” his misery ethed on his face, well, that’ll cure the fly problem (only thought this statement as well, obvious reasons, it was his birthday after all). Must admit, he almost looked human when he returned, the razor he had packed had a purpose & wasn’t just taking up space in the wash bag.
Mum turned up, early I’m glad to say, food that resembled food was very, very anticipated, Mr Dc even made polite conversation with her, he must have been desperate. A rather enjoyable evening ensued, no really, no calamities to report on this time (even though Mr Dc had consumed his entire lunchbox & was 3 sheets to the wind), not long now to the end, we were on the cusp of a Bear Grylls, we had almost survived, 1 more day to go, we will sleep well tonight. Sorry if I am boring you with this entry, madness will resume tomorrow, til then, adious, tara & all that.
I’m glad you enjoyed your bear grill. You obviously didn’t eat the liver as it’s poisonous - high levels of vitamin A or D. That combination’s appropriate, given the founder of this thread! (Not that our beloved leader is poisonous, I hasten to add.)
Pleeeeeze adopt us Sue!!! We can do swearing & drinking!!! Mr Dc will sign the adoption form, he would be happy to do it (with no prompting either as I’m sure Carole’s other half would too) xx
Arrrrgh, we don’t know that though Cheerful, he could be highly toxic, his madness would certainly infect anyone sane (just read the posts on here, he can do it telepathically, bit like Carrie) xx
We could make cocktails and swear at Mr Sssue until he makes us some lovely food. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. I still have to get the agreement of the boss of the house though. Monte (cat) might not be too keen. I’m assuming the adoption would include the Fez and that might not go down too well with His Royal Felineness.
Sue
I’m sure they would love each other Sue, they share the same interests, food, sleep & treats, a no brainer, when can I come?, still haven’t unpacked from can adventure, ready & waiting x
i`m really good at swearing and telling the odd rude joke or two as well. So can I join the party?
pollsx
I didnt know bear liver was bad for you…hope it aint the same for lamb and pig. I dont eat liver…horrible stuff…but OH adores it…used to have a poodle who would only eat pig liver and heart…smelt foul…no, not fowl, but F O U L
I think you are the bravest of the brave, for sticking it out in the most orrible of orrible camp sites Trace.
You after Camper of the Year rosette?
When we were touring with a can, or a motorhome (much posher dahling) and if we pulled into a site that looked dodgy, we always turned tail and sought pastures new…often at tea time, so tempers were raised, as I made feeble attempts to follow a C & C map…often upside down, but didnt really notice the difference!
So you should now be esconced in your own home…luxury oh luxury!
pollsx
Oh no, I just happened to ‘mention’ the adoption plan to Mr Sssue. He heard about the swearing and drinking and commanding him into the kitchen to rustle up little snacklets and meals etc, plus go to the posh wine shop (‘on my pension?’) and he has put down his foot very firmly. One sweary, rock music playing, booze loving wife is enough for him apparently. And that’s without even mentioning filthy jokes, Poll.
And he didn’t think Monte would like the 'bomb either. So I think it’s a no go. Even if you managed to get Mr DC, Mr Catman and Mr Poll to agree adoption terms. Plus, I’m not sure where to put you all. Not to mention that if I did adopt one or more of you, and the rest got temporary visas, I can imagine some others might want to come to the party. And we don’t have the facilities or accommodation space of say, Durer Towers.
But I would have gladly adopted you all. I’m not sure how one adult goes about adopting other adults. But if it’s not possible, then it damn well should be. You all feel like family to me anyway.
Sue xx
Liver you buy in shops can’t be poisonous, for obvious reasons. Polar bear liver is so high in vitamin A that eating it can result in hypervitaminosis A. I’m presuming that the same applies to other bears. I certainly wouldn’t risk eating bear offal. Any other part of the bear should be fine.
I love you lot too, Sue! Think we need an island, AD, come on!!! we/ I need adopting, preferably somewhere/someone that provides 1. alcohol, 2. food (not beans) 3. alcohol, 4. alcohol & nibbles, 5. alcohol, nibbles & lovely friends (& pets) 6. alcohol & alcohol & friends (lovely 1s & pets) that ok? did I mention alcohol? or we are setting up a cult called ‘The unadoptables’ we will cause havoc Thank you in advance xxx
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So that’s why there’s never anyone in our local Bear Butcher’s shop!
Or is it cos the butcher is bare behind the counter?
Watch out where he puts his chopper!
Pollsx
Poll, anything your pee or digestive juices run through, don’t eat it, not nice. Cheerful, Bear Gryll’s drinks his own pee, dirty get (I know we had it bad on can jolly, but I wouldn’t go that far, besides fridge was full of beer, no need should it arise) xx
Oh I’m toasty thanks Poll, there’s no place like home (Dorothy moment again), not for me or Mr Dc, teach him for getting plastered, the stupid person of unknown heritage. xxx