Bit of an embarrassing topic, really need advice

Please forgive my anonymity, but it am really embarrassed about this. I have always been lucky enough not to have had my sexual relationship with my husband affected up to now, but the last few occasions have been a different story. Although I am ready to take part in sex, ie, lubricated, I don’t actually feel turned on and ready in that way. I want to feel close to my husband, and try anyway, as dryness is not a problem, but I feel that I cannot orgasm, almost like the pelvic floor muscles aren’t working efficiently, and no matter how much I concentrate I cannot climax. Do any of you ladies know what I am experiencing. I am worried as I am only in my thirties and still have a good sexual relationship with my husband. He says he isn’t bothered about what happened this morning, but I am, very much so. Please help :frowning:

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hi anon

see your doctor because i’ve heard that there is something they can do to help.

meanwhile have lots of cuddle time with your hubby, he sounds like a nice, unmdrstanding man.

carole x

Hi there,

I have a similar problem which does seem to be resolving, so I’ve put it down to some mild relapse type symptom. I’m older than you, heading for the menopause, but on HRT and everything works apart from reaching orgasm. Some of the feeling is returning now, but its been a few months. I’ve had mild bladder and bowel issues too, so I guess its all connected.

Try not to panic, and give it some time and patience. If you make an issue out of it, it will become an issue, if you see what I mean?!

Hope this helps a bit xx

Hello anon

Like Carole as mentioned, there is help for this problem, so make an appointment with your gp.

Maybe you should ban sex for a couple of weeks and go back to courting…that’s an old word…I’m 57

Go out for meal…see a movie…old hands. yah never know!!

Good luck

Thanks for all your input, I really do appreciate it. I think I might be in the middle of a relapse right now, and also have had some bladder issues, so hopefully it might get better in time as mentioned. I will mention it to the gp next time I go. Thankyou, once again, it really does mean a lot! :slight_smile:

Hi anon

Just wanted to reiterate what the others have said.

Try not to worry too much about it as the more you worry about it the more tense you will be which will stop things happening.

Hope it resolves itself soon for you.

Shazzie xx

I can totally relate to you Anon. I would like to know what help a couple of the posters think your GP can give as I asked my GP for help and he had no idea. All the best

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The gp can refer you to a therapist, who can help couples explore reasons why there seems to be a problem. The therapist will then give help in overcoming these problems. After the gp has ruled out any potential physical/sychological problems.

Thats why I was talking about, giving sexual intercourse a miss and going back to, a good old bit of romance Its one of the things therapist can suggest. xxx

Hi anon,

that’s exaclty my problem. If I do finally climax it’s so weak that it was hardly worth the effort but like you I want to be close to my husband.

I don’t have dryness but don’t feel as turned on as I would like. It has been suggested that the required signals are not getting thru the blockages in spinal cord and that maybe some sex toys would help out. I thing that medication might also be a contributing factor.

It’s very frustrating at times - I know how you feel

Marie x

It really is so comforting to know I am not alone, and this really has been something that has occurred over a couple of weeks and is totally, alien to me, but bad enough to feel a problem is occurring. I value all the advice I have been given and Thankyou from the bottom of my heart for replying to such a delicate subject. My sincerest gratitude Xxx

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I know this is a very old post but wondered if you had any luck?

My lovey parter is going to a lot of effort bless him but it’s just not working and whilst he’s very patient be lovely about it it’s really bumming me out. (Metaphorically speaking!)