bedroom problems

Hello everyone I hope you are all enjoying your weekend.I am hoping for a bit of help and advice since my diagnosis in 2009 my husband has got less interested in sex I have tried to talk to him about it but he gets a bit angry .I can’t understand it as he is so supportive in other ways.I am now got it into my head that he is seeing someone else I don’t know what to do now.I am very embarrassed about it so I am going to post this anon.

Do you think the diagnosis has any relevance, if so how?

Hi, I understand your need to go anon hun.

I am in the same predicament as you, only it has gone on for 10 years!

Been married for 42 years, so we did enjoy a full relationship once upon a time!

I feel hubby has lost interest in me that way. he once said that me being as I am, affects his mind in the way he sees me.

I get a peck of a kiss, but no cuddles and I really miss the closeness. I have tried to broach the subject, but I am told hed rather not`.

How long have you 2 been together?


I thought for a while it might be that he does not want to push me to much but instead it is making me really worried we have been married for 31 years we have no children but we have had some great times I don’t know what I would do with out him.

Hi again. I was going to private message you, but that facility isn`t on your post box.

I have had and still do, double continence problems and that must be a worry for my fella.

Like you, I wouldnt know how to cope without my man.

PM me if you like hun.


I’m quite newly diagnosed and already worry but I don’t think he’s playing away, just stressed. I’m going Anon so I can speak a bit more freely, I think they still love us but suffer a lot with stress and worry so they’re a bit pre-occupied when it comes to being payful. Like Poll says, I think they look at us differently now.

Personally, I feel less feminine when I can’t wear heels and don’t dare wield a razor blade, and with all that going on, do I really make as much effort now with make up and what I wear? I don’t think so.

It’s difficult when I know he’s seen me struggling with something silly and I know he’ll stay up far later than me most evenings. I try to catch him by surprise and that seems to work (at the moment) - a few weeks ago, I shouted out that I needed him and he came rushing upstairs in a panic (in case I’d fallen I guess) to find me reclining on the bed in lingerie that I know he loves and stockings. I tell him “I’m so glad you came up quickly, come here, I can’t even stand up” with a big grin - he didn’t seem to object even though I actually mentioned that dodgy subject. I don’t think it’s easy engineering a situation and sometimes it goes way to long without even a kiss and I think even when you try to engineer it there’ll be times when it goes wrong.

It’s difficult and men hate to discuss it, I’ve learnt that much. Sneaking up with something you know what appeals seems the best tool I have and do not get seamed stockings if you are wobbly, they don’t look so good wonky!

I think I’ve lowered the tone quite anough for one day ladies