Forum

Help for an embarrassing problem please? :( (TMI warning)

Hi. Posted a few times on here but gone anon due to the nature of my issue. Me and my husband seperated a couple of months back due to my lack of interest in sex. The marriage was pretty much over a year ago but we had a sexless marriage which bothered him. I didn’t find it enjoyable, I have stiff legs which made it uncomfortable and I couldn’t achieve a climax when I use to be able to. I thought it was just I wasn’t interested in him that way and despite trying several things to try and get it back on track it just didn’t work. I’ve embarked on a relationship with someone else and the other day we did try to become physical and I couldn’t climax. There was absolutely no feeling which left me quite embarrased to be honest. I’ve tried to myself and still nothing. I have an appointment with the neurologist tomorrow to try and get to the bottom of my symptoms (not just this but a huge other array of odd things.) I know it’s a long shot but does anyone know of anything that can aid sensation? I’m quite miffed by it because it did kind of happen just over night back when I was with my husband. I’m too embarassed to speak to my neurologist tomorrow about it because my ex will be there with me because he witnessed a lot of how I’ve been affected by my symptoms over the past 2 years. Thank you for any help you can give.

Ask to try viagra. It is not normally prescribed for women, but it can help.

Not sure how to do this without asking though - GPs are unlikely to prescribe it so it kind of has to be a neuro who gives you the first prescription (then the GP should maintain it).

Good luck!

Karen x

Do you think I can ask for him to leave the room whilst I talk about the sexual problems? It’s not something I wish to discuss around him considering I’ve moved on. He hasn’t been very supportive about the issue when we were together and I did get accused of cheating several times. I find the whole thing rather odd when I have never had a problem before.

Sorry to butt in here, but of course you can!

It’s absolutely up to you who you have in your appointment, and for how much of the time.

Personally, I wouldn’t take an ex with me at all, particularly if they hadn’t been very supportive at the time. Don’t you know how you’ve been affected, without needing an independent witness?

Then again, I guess you must have some reason for wanting him there, otherwise why’s he going?

Sexual problems are very common with MS - for both sexes. It often relates to a problem in the spinal cord, which means you literally can’t get signals to and from “down there”.

On the plus side, the lost sensation may not always be permanent. I’ve had phases when I couldn’t find my own bits without the help of a mirror or a flashlight (Sorry!) Happily, it was only temporary. About 90% back to normal now, so be patient.

Tina

I have a very poor memory, difficulties with my speech and also there is no-one else who will go with me so he was the best option. This will be the second time I see the neurologist and I’m really trying to press for some type of treatment until I get a firm diagnosis. I’ve had several attacks of my symptoms over 2 years and I’ve been left to deal with it. My main symptoms are severe pain and issues with my mobility with falls, tripping etc so I don’t want to be left much longer without anything. The person I am seeing knows about my illness but he was left quite upset about what happened. This issue is really upsetting me to be honest and I’m not even 25 yet. The prospect of this and all my other problems for the rest of my life is making me pretty depressed.

The right meds can make a massive difference. The neuro won’t put you onto disease modifying drugs without you having a diagnosis, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t prescribe meds for your symptoms or advise your GP what to prescribe. He could also refer you to neurophysio to see if they could help your mobility.

If you struggle with your memory and getting across your point verbally, try writing it down in preparation for tomorrow - then you can just hand it over. All you need to write is something like:

Please can you help me with appropriate meds or therapy for the symptoms I am really struggling with?:

  • Pain (a brief description so he knows what kind of pain it is)

  • Falls and stumbles (if there is something contributing to this, then write it here)

  • Difficulty reaching orgasm (someone I know with MS told me that viagra works for some women with MS; could I try it please?) PLEASE NOTE I am in a new relationship, so please don’t ask me about this unless my ex has left the room.

Thank you!

Incidentally, anti-depressants can cause sexual problems including difficulty reaching orgasm. I don’t know if it’s relevant, but thought I should say.

Good luck tomorrow!

Karen x

I don’t take anti-depressants or any other medication so it isn’t a side effect. I know i’ll feel better once I know what is wrong with me.

when I do manage to climax its just one big muscle contraction, feels very strange, have you tried any of the gels