Big Heidi Goes International

Big Heidi Goes International

Well kids the menagerie are off on their travels again. Hanks to my aunties Lynne & Linda in Canada we have been invited across for a holiday so as we arrived at Glasgow Airport all crammed into a taxi, the kids were bleating away incessantly that they were going on a plane, the my little ponies were all all excited too. But can you imagine Big Heidi excitement. We were halfway down the stairs to the waiting taxi when an extremely load yodel was emitted that echoed up and down the building. This was made worse by all our neighbours who had gathered outside and big H. thinking they had gathered in her honour, this caused he to act like Marilyn Munroe adopting sensual and seductive poses and blowing kisses to all and sundry. The 3 kids gambolled their way into the taxi, while the my little ponies in their sparking attire made quite a site.

On arriving at the airport our fell passengers were dumbstruck at the site of the menagerie pouring out of the taxi. The 1st out we wee Hector, Hamish and C. U. Jimmy who looked resplendent in their kilts followed by the ponies I was n`t up to arguing with Big H. so gave her money to pay the taxi so she could make her big entrance or should that be exit from the taxi.

However, as always her plans fell flat as her dirndl was trailing on the floor and this didn’t please her. So she decided the best way not to dirty it was to come out backwards. Now kids that was a sight. Unfortunately all those \Glaswegian going on holiday had bought new camera and were only to keen to use them. So I have a feeling a lot of them will end up in the front page of the Daily Record & the Herald.

As we arrived at check and going through the security questions the girl barely had asked the question have you packed you bags yourself when Big H. was squeezing ample bosom and said Ja, naturlich! well they were tightly packed and looked if she explode if she was accidentally brushed against. When the check in girl asked Big H. could anyone have interfered with your bag… This was cut short by Big H adopting a rather indigent stance thrusting her bosom out and replying Nein! I muttered under my breath she wishes.

We got through to the departure lounge, the 3 kid automatically headed to duty free, I had to put my foot down with Squiffy and tell him no alcohol. Trots one of my little ponies came over to me and said that Hamish, Hector & C.U Jimmy were rather agitated in the corner. When I went over to them Wee Hector said look Uncle Rick what they have done. I had to explain that the Haggis they were selling were toys and not real haggis…I think I got away with that one kids.

God I feel this was a mistake, we weren’t even on the plane yet and I was frazzled. Anyway kids Uncle Rick found a bar that sold his special water…which he definitely needed. I know I here yo scream but Uncle Rick it is only 5.50am.

Well kids be kind to one another, take care and keep well. Canada here we come.

Uncle Rick and the menagerie.


pmsl. I can only imagine. Has Big Heidi been to Canada b4 or is this another country who has to fear for its population? lol I can’t help wondering if Squiffy may try to make this trip a wee bit interesting/challenging for Uncle Plus…the 3 wee Scots should b manacled to ensure there is actually some Alcohol left in Duty Free. I wish u a loada luck n I kno u will need it.pmsl. xxx