Big H.

Sorry for the delay kids but has been acting up all day.

Hi Kids,

Hope everybody is well and behaving themselves? Following my rather traumatic day yesterday I thought I would treat every body to a fun day out…well it was for them. I decided to take the menagerie to Prater. For the adults among us anyone who remembers Graham Greene`s book and classic film with Orsen Welles and the bit in the film in the giant Ferris wheel that was set in the Prater.

Unfortunately I am a bit to young myself to remember the film lol. Anyway the Riesenrad as it is called affords wonderful views of Vienna so my suggestion of a trip there was met with great enthusiasm by all Big H. letting rip one of her yodels scaring the excrement out of us all. My neighbors just love her when she does that. Anyway it is a nice day here for a trip out. So the whole gang make our way to the U Bahn, that is the underground. Then onto a tram, I instantly broke into a sweat remembering the last time on a tram with Big H. and the commotion she created. What on earth possessed me to repeat the experience I will never know. As I briefly touched on yesterday Big H. has one feature which is not terribly appealing. That is when she gets excited she tends to yodel, which tends to scare the excrement out of people nearby. I have one pharmaceutical company approach me to use it as a laxative.

Anyway the Riesenrad has gondolas which hold 8 to 10 people, you are able to walk around the cabin. Well the kids and I had a slight argument as Squiffy wanted to know if there was a bar at the top. I have to do something with that kids obsession with booze. Whiffy was his usual aromatic self and because of the number of complaints from the people who were in line it was decided that it may be better if the clan occupied one gondola. Being a typical; Scotsman I put the Haggi in my pockets so I didn’t have to pay for them.

Big H. wearing her dirndl (the typical folk costume for ladies consisting of a Blouse, full skirt and apron). I know I sound like Coco Chanel but I am more like Coco the Clown. She was able to smuggle Iffy & Squiffy in two of her milking pails,more money saved.

Wee Hector and his pals were as always running around in circles remember kids that wild Haggi only have three legs and th back left is horter than the other two. They were keen to see the views from the windows but no matter how high they attemted to jump they could not see. I lifted wee Hector on to my shoulder while Big H`s ample chesticles provided a platform for the other two. The Japanese tourists in the gondola above us were glued to their windows with cameras flashiong all over the place, so much so that at one point there was a summer lightening storm. Big H became excited when we reached the top nad started jumping up and down. The two haggi which she was accomodating suffered motion sickness with all the jiggling about plus she gave herself a black eye. Hopefully that will teach her in the future.

Well kids I think that is enuough excitement for one day, my dark and a striff whiskey is calling.

Tatty by for the noo.

Uncle Rick

Now remember kids be good to one another and keep safe & well, and do not forget! never talk to strange men!!!..or woman for that matter.

Well after the last outing you were inviting disaster with taking the whole gang on a trip so fraught with

I expect the yodels emitted from Heidi cleared the wax out of everyones ears, beside being a purge for their bowels. In fact you could start up your own pharmacutical company with the benefits of knowing Heidi. ( dont tell her, shell become more demanding) she might even want some gold plated pails.

Hope the haggi have not been too sick, and that Heidi eventually meets the lonely goatherd.

You deserve the stiff drink after all that.