you'll understand why anon, sex

Same problems here.

After all attempts using injections/pump, I have settled for a £26 monthly bill for viagra.

Good luck!

Hello Oscardoodlebug,

I’m interested to know if Viagra works if you have already had to try using injections/pump. I only considered those after Viagra/Cialis became totally ineffective.

Let me know,

Patrick

Hi all

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

Originally given injection therapy - worked for about a year - then needed bigger and bigger doses until it didn’t work

Went back to GP who prescribed viagra and other pills - none of these worked

Went back to GP again - who told me there was nothing else he could do

So all I can do no is suffer in silence

I once had a very understanding wife.

The trouble is, my ms seems to have taken my memory a lot, and I can’t remember whose wife she was!

1 Like

I too struggled with ejaculation. Orgasm extra capsules from the Discretely yours website worked from me.

Peter

Hello,

Loss of sexual ability is no fun what so ever. The day Viagra failed to work was ghastly. It is a topic that is very difficult to talk about. You can tell other people that you don’t function from the waist down but I’m sure they don’t grasp the full implication.

As a man I feel emasculated. I can live with drop-foot, visual problems even doing intermittent self catheterisation but not being able to have sex is so f*****g depressing. I’ve been married for nearly 35 years when I became impotent, what must it be like for a younger man.

I have learnt to suppress my emotional feelings because physically I cannot do anything about it but I can still get upset and angry

I would love to hear what other people, men and women, have to say about this side of MS

Patrick

PS Someone was in a really bad mood when they invented MS

1 Like

Here’s what I have to say:

I can still achieve orgasm whilst masturbating (about 7 times out of 10).

I have not had an orgasm whilst having inter-personal sex for about three months. No-one has managed to bring me to climax, and I’ve had a fair few try, both men and women. Some have gone to ridiculously generous lengths to accommodate me, but nada.

I also ‘liaised’ with a fellow MS sufferer, and although the mechanics for us both were in place and functional, neither of us came. This despite every position, every visual aid, every vibrating aid blah blah blah. An experiment that confirmed the hypothesis.

Sometimes one has to take the hint, and retire from the pastime.

I am ‘lucky’ that I have no-one I need to keep happy in this regard. I still enjoy the chase, and the first catch can be damned good fun even though unilaterally unfruitful, but after that it’s a wrap.

Hopefully this has not been too unsavoury a post to turn you off your cocoa/muffins and muesli/sandwiches/meat and two veg depending on what time of the day you happen to read it.

Nobody should feel reticent about airing this stuff. C’mon people, it’s 2012, not 1950.

Those of us with a critical illness should worry if someone we know sees this? Pfffftt.

I was diagnosed 9 years ago with Secondary Progressive MS, lost my sex life 7 years ago, the wife lost hers a wee bit before that through problems of her own and the fact that she was too scared in case I damage myself physically, now neither of us care about it any more, I still get horny, but can’t be bothered to sort it out because if I did, my wife still wouldn’t want to so why bother

Istill get strong urges

But. unlike you I long for some help/way to rectifty this desperate situation

bump

hideous disease, robs your faculties and damages your physicality, can kill your intimacies too, god how I loath MS and what it does to people,and what it has done to my family,10yrs married and we were happily active,but now nada,no intimacy nothing , two strangers living in the same house at times with only the kids in common,

sorry to vent and rage but this posting caught me at a bad moment, emasculated and royally fed up and effed off!

Hi anon. Although I’m female I can totally relate to your probs. I’m only early 20s myself and sex is so painful for me it’s a nightmare. Unfortunately there’s not a lot us ladies can do about it just try try and try again. If there’s help for you out there just go for it, there’s no room for pride when you have ms x

1 Like

Is there any chance couple’s counselling might help? I’m a female MSer who lost the ability to reach orgasm many years ago. But still have a good sex life - love the intimacy of sex, sometimes get some physical pleasure, sometimes not, but feel there’s a virtuous circle where sex makes us closer and nicer to each other, which makes us more likely to keep having sex which makes us closer and nicer etc etc. Maybe this is a very female point of view, but I definitely crave the intimacy that comes with sex and the pleasure I can give more than the sex itself. If I were you I would be aiming for intimacy as well as an erection. But maybe it’s different for men.

1 Like

Oohkay, so I am currently experiencing the lack of oomph in this department.

I haven’t been able to get or maintain an erection with my partner or through masturbation for almost 2 years, ever since my first major relapse.

The fact I can’t get one through solo masturbation tells me the issue is physical, because I’m under no pressure to perform for my partner then. However what is strange is very rarely I will get an erection in my dreams, it doesn’t last for long once I’m awake but it does confuse the issue somewhat.

I’ve tried Viagra in 50mg \and 100mg doses and sadly that didn’t work as well as we had hoped, we sort of managed intercourse briefly with my partner on top of me but since the sensations for me were not how they used to be, my ability to maintain erection diminished over time.

I also tried Cialis and while that didn’t help at the time with my partner, I was able to get an erection and maintain it with masturbation for a short while the following morning.

Confusing results really, we both expected the Viagra/Cialis to just make it work and apparently you still need sexual stimulus. Given it appears the sexual stimulus is the reason I can’t get an erection, since things don’t feel as nice as they used to, it seems these are not going to help us as much as we had hoped.

I believe the reason I occasionaly get sleep erections is because my body isn’t working so all the focus can be directed to my penis, I also believe they are pure brain powered arousal. Which doesn’t rely on physical stimulus to create them.

I’m overweight, which doesn’t help, I’m currently trying to lose some weight to see if that helps at all. I reason if my body has less places to pump blood, maybe my heart can get that extra blood where I want it! Might not work, but it’s worth a try since I know weight is an issue for maintaining an erection in regular erectile dysfunction patients. Losing weight is not easy when you can’t even go outdoors alone anymore though.

I’m aware there are two other alternatives to pills, I can try injections directly into the penis which cause erections or I can have surgery to implant small balloons into the shaft of the penis which can then be inflated to cause erections that way too. Personaly, I don’t like the idea of either of those, the balloons one just sounds horrifying and the idea of sticking a needle in my penis seems to give me the opposite feeling to arousal!

To be honest, this is the most crushing thing for me, I can cope with losing my independence, my mobility and strength…but losing what defines me as male is painful and soul destroying. If I could give back any one symptom of ms, my impotency issue would be it.

At the risk of sounding a twit…I was really good at it too!

2 Likes

my comment may not help, but i feel i have to write something as reading this post i really feel for all of you who are suffering. i can completely understand how these impotency issues can leave you feeling demasculinised (as far as my female mind can), but i would like to say that through my eyes, an erect penis does not maketh the man! yes, i have to admit that i enjoy sex with my husband a lot, but if i had to choose between having someone who loved me, and could hold me, emotionally support me etc. or sex, i know for sure which one i would choose. i know to be able to have both would be the ideal, but if that’s not possible, to be loved is the most important. i cannot begin to put myself in your shoes, but please don’t give up on yourselves! think i’m making a bit of a hash of this but i hope i’m managing to get my point across.

big hugs, vicky x

3 Likes

Hi fella’s The Eiffel Tower does not make Paris the great city that is is…it’s an eclectic mix of everything special and meaningful. Xx

Hello

old thread I know. Does anyone find that they ejaculate a lot less aswel. Used to be a big shooter but sometimes it’s hardly anything these days.

Old thread indeed but with surprisingly few posts considering how prevalent sexual dysfunction is for us folks with MS. I guess some just give up and others are too embarrassed to ask or don’t have the right people to speak to.

My wife and I consider ourselves lucky that we have had a consultation with a doctor specialising in sexual function in MS patients. The consultation was mostly focussed on the psychological aspects rather than the physical but was a safe place for us to talk openly about things… and that is always a good thing.

Three things we took away from the consultation are: Sex toys, porn, whatever helps are all good. Tadalafil (Cialis) is a much better medication than Sildenafil (Viagra).for Erectile Dysfunction. Learn to adapt.

One thing that I have discovered around the same time as the consultation, but quite independent of it, is that if I tap my bladder repeatedly then certain things happen. If I need to empty my bladder, then it will empty. If I need to empty my bowels, then that too. If I have already emptied both, then I will reach orgasm! Works every time.

I completely understand that MS is a very unique thing for everyone. What works for me probably won’t work for many. Hope it helps someone else out there though.

1 Like

Hi, I’m a female MS’er who hasn’t been able to reach orgasm for many years, I don’t have any feeling as such down there, me and my hubby have been together for 43yrs, always enjoyed a good sex life and just because of this its not all over, we can still kiss, cuddle and be together in our own way, so I understand to some degree, good luck to you and never give upo trying, x

2 Likes

Absolutely 100%, but what’s even worse, the orgasm i have, doesn’t hit the spot it did when i was 17, in fact more often than not i get no buzz at all.

Hey I have the same issue to the point I’ve lacked intimacy with my partner for 12 months she now feels we’re just friends I’m struggling as the drive has gone as well as the performance …