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You understand? Yeah right!

Hi everyone, looking for a bit of advice, not sure how to tackle this one. My sister in law has been very supportive throughout my diagnosis and claims to understand the best out of my family. I had said I would come round on NYE to her. Unfortunately I got tonsillitis again a few days before and decided to stay in and feel sorry for myself. She said it was fine and she hoped I’d feel better soon. The next day, deciding I needed to get out of the house I went around my mums for dinner. She was there with my brother and their children and was really off with me. The next day I texted her to say is everything okay? She replied that she was peed off that I wasn’t well enough to go around there NYE but I was well enough to go to my mums on new years day. I didn’t reply immediately as I was really angry. I said in a non bitchy way that I thought it was a flippant comment to make and unfortunately I’ve had tonsillitis on and off for three months, my injections aren’t going so well and I’m struggling. She didn’t reply, no sorry or anything. I’m still not wanting to talk to her, and now she’s making out that I’m the difficult one. Any advise on how I can make it crystal that I’m not happy with those sort of comments? I don’t want her to think I’llSend author a message take it lying down. Suz xx

Hi, oh dear, well i guess the invite for NYE was an eveing/night one, was it?

I tell everyone i don`t do evening/nights events, as I need to get to bed to stretch out, after a day of sitting. this is due to me being in a wheelie all day.

But even if you don`t use a wheelie, your fatigue levels (without tonsilitus as an extra) are such that you need your bed/sleep at a reasonable hour, eh?

When there are family rifts, i often think the least said, soonest mended adage is a good one. it can be difficult to follow that line when you are the victim of someones comments tho.

Perhaps if you just explain something on the lines of what Ive said, shell be placated.

Good luck.

luv Pollx

Cheers Poll. Suz xx

Thanks Paula. I was in my PJs too. :slight_smile: Suz xx

Hi suzi

People say they understand but how can they if they haven’t got MS themselves. “Oh you look so well”.

I don’t know how to advise only to repeat over and over again that you are ok one day and not the next.

My sister in law (who was of great help before dx.) asked my daughter at my nephew’s wedding if I was depressed as I had gone off to bed before the dancing started up. It had been a full on day with the wedding and a long wait for the wedding breakfast. If she does not get that I don’t do evenings and prefer to go to bed early it’s her problem, I don’t worry too much about what people think these days.

Good luck with dealing with this, it’s not something that needs to be argued over, just some understanding on her side, and maybe some more explaining on yours. Sorry but it’s not easy.

Wendy

x

Oh dear, you’ve got some good advise, I think sometimes, in these situations"the less said the better" so. How about something like " I’m really sorry about everything that’s happened since new year, let’s just forget it and move on" Cheryl

Someone has to be the grown-up here, and I’m afraid it’s going to have to be you, Suzie! If you can be bothered, I would recommend breaking the ice with her and just keep on explaining your situation, totally calmly and gently, refusing to be riled or take her bait, and she’s bound to run out of steam and realise that you’re not going to get drawn into a stupid argument.

Good luck

Alison

x

Thanks everyone. I can’t be bothered, lol! Feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall. Did think I was getting somewhere late yesterday, however, she’s back to how it was. Grrrrr! So, we’re going out as a family on sat, we’ll see how that goes. I haven’t really got the patience at the moment, my partner’s dad is in hospital, again, with complications re his existing condition, we’ve found a house we want to buy but getting nowhere fast with that, I’m trying to sort out a holiday for next month and I’m trying to get back to work properly for the first time in months… so quite frankly, I ain’t got the time, I ain’t got the patience, and if someone wants to make mountains out of molehills, they can. :slight_smile: rant over xx