World turned upside down and could do with sone advice


I hope everyones doing alot better then I am right now

4th dec my whole world got turned upside down all in tine for the festive season.

I was with my partner for 12 years then got married last year, this year he asked for a divorce as he was unhappy with me as I could not keep up with his life style which was going out 4 days a week abd drinking alot and clubbing all weekends hes 30 next year, I tokd him its because I am very unwell with MS on 25 pills day and tysabri with my mobility not great either but it was nit an food enough excuse and used that as I didn’t want to make an effort.

So now I am looking into housing benefits as I could not take over the mortgage with no income as my neuro and Doc adviced me against work ever again as every time I did I got sent to hospital for at least 3 relapses a year.

I am on ESA support group and Dla highest mobility and middle rate care indefinite so I know I can get some hosing benefit to help but was wondering if theres any other benefits I can get to that I may of missed out on.

My whole family are 2 hours drive from me and my parents have lost so much money in the past few years that they are moving into a small one bedroom place next year at age 70 with no pention apart from the state they are in a very bad way themselves.

So moving back with them is a no go even though they would love to take me in.

I hope someone here knows any advice they can give I am so broken.

I hope you can understand this post I don’t know how to edit it alot of words wrong because its from an ipad and my fingers sometimes touch the wrong words bad coordination and all

Hi Moogle Star, firstly my heart goes out to you and I can identify with your situation, there are benefit calculators you can do on line, talk to your local CAB they will assist with all your current financial & housing issues. Counselling maybe something you could look at I used this through my local MS society group it helped me to take some control back of my life.

Remember things can only get better.

Pauline xx

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Hi Moogle star, as pauline said go and speak to you local CAB, they have a calculator which works out what you are entitled to. Also there be some local assistance from your council and they will know

Thankyou everyone

CAB opens again 5th jan so I have to wait, just hoping ex doesn’t kick me out before then.

Hi Moogle star

I can only repeat the above. Contact citizen advice, they will help you sort any benefits/help you maybe able to apply for.

Really sorry to hear about your marriage break up. I hope 2015 is a more positive year for you.

Good luck xx

Perhaps you should contact a solicitor before leaving the marital home.

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I know you are all right and thankyou ever so much, I am finding being able to move at all hard MS didn’t help anyway but with this I have no will power.

First week when this happened I lost half a stone the doc said it was from shock and now my friend finished his work till Jan so he said till then he can care for me as I needed alot of it even before but he said after that will need to get a carer in for me. Hes been pretty much force feeding me (nicely) as hes worried with how much weight a person can lose within 2 weeks, almost one stone now.

Hi moogle star, as others have said, seek advice from the c.a.b. They were wonderful when I was between a rock and a hard place regarding work. They put me right about housing benefit, tax credits, and p.I.p. I really hope things get sorted for you and I wish you well xx Julie xx

I think everyone here will know how it feels to be told by someone your MS is not that bad! You use it as a weapon…

Don’t move out of the house, I do know you maybe seen as making yourself intentionally homeless, in your situ I would be asking for emergency social work intervention asap for your care needs and discuss the situ with them regarding your ex. Ring them tomorrow,get the ball rolling.

You’ll obviously be better off without him, as much as it’s going to hurt, not wanting to come across as a know it all it sounds to me like he has done a good job of oppressing you, as you describe besides your MS symptoms you just have no will power,don’t allow him to affect you anymore.once you have made that call to S.Services you are taking control of your life. Your friend sounds like a gem, but if you can release him of his caring duties by making the call and keep him as a friend not so much as a carer.

Pauline (((((( Hugs)))))).


Excellent advice there from Pauline.

Good luck, Moogle Star.


so sorry you are having such a c**p time of it, you have had some good advice to try to help you, could your friend ring social services and try and get you some help,i hope so,

as hard as all this is on you,when things are sorted you will be better off without him in your life.

really hope things improve soon,please keep us informed.

Good luck.


J x

Very good advice thankyou very much Polly.

will be calling then soon just got up.

My dad asked the ex to leave the house he can live with his dad as he was becoming verbally aggressive to me and it was scaring me with everything else. My dad knows I still have rights even if he refused to put my name on the mortgage.

You might be interested in this info from the money advice service (it is an independent service with Government backing)

They list some factors that suggest that a person who is getting divorced needs professional advice rather than a DIY splitting of the finances. You do seem to tick a few of those boxes. I hope that you get the advice you need to achieve a fair settlement. One thing’s for sure: being married or in a civil partnership puts a person in a much stronger position than she would be in otherwise.


You have recieved some really good advice, all I can add is try Welfare Rights, they along with CAB advise on all benefits I only mention them as sometimes CAB have a waiting list if your appointment needs specialist help.

Good luck

Jan x