Hello,
I have been wih my partner for 7 years, we discussed my MS when we first met and how lucky I was that my symptoms were minimal.
I had a massive relapse last summer and now have major mobility and fatigue issues.
We used to be out and about regularly but I now use a walking stick and our lives have changed considerably.
My partner is really struggling emotionally with this and has talked about if he can even stay in our relationship considering it’s current limitations.
I’m sure we are not alone in this scenario and wondered if anyone had any advice or words of wisdom to help me through this situation.
Thank you so much for listening
Sarah x
Some people have more to give than others. Not their fault- just the way it is. It seems to me that people who are wondering aloud whether they can stay tend to have their bags (at least) half-packed mentally. If he thinks he’s doing you a favour by staying, he most assuredly won’t be. I am sorry that you’re reaching a crunch time.
1 Like
Hi Sarah, I feel for both of you and wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom to offer. All I can offer is my experience and a few thoughts. My then girlfriend was with me when I was diagnosed. My Aunt had MS so I knew what the future might hold for me and I basically said to my wife she should think carefully about whether she wanted to stay with me and I wouldn’t blame her one bit if she wanted to leave. She was a nurse, now retired, so knew a bit about MS. Fortunately for me she wanted to stay and we got married a few years later - and still happily together. My thoughts/ reflections: first - both find out as much as you can about MS, treatments, outlook etc etc, and bear in mind that MS isn’t the end of the world it used to be. Second, and this isn’t very romantic , try and take a pragmatic look at things: yes MS probably will affect mobility, what you can and can’t do together. In my/ our case and after 17 years, I can still walk for 15-20 mins or so but use a mobility scooter for anything more. It requires a bit of forethought and planning but we still get out and about- restaurants, cinema, holidays - Scottish Highlands and Islands. So if you can, each think about what you want and enjoy doing and whether or not MS is going to affect things. And blunt as this might sound, for your own future peace of mind and heart - think about how secure you might feel in the relationship. And take heart, people with MS do go on to develop good relationships.
1 Like
It sounds like you’re facing a challenging situation, and it’s understandable that both you and your partner are navigating through some difficult emotions. Adjusting to major changes in health can put strain on any relationship. It might be helpful for both of you to seek support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in chronic illness and relationships. They can provide a safe space to express your feelings and help you both develop coping strategies.