Hi, any advice?

Hi! Have just discovered this forum and it looks good! My sister has MS, diagnosed approx 6 years ago, and mostly she’s doing well apart from one major episode a couple of years ago. I live quite near her and we are very close. Since the episode she’s been much more emotional and a bit ‘all over the place’. This came to a head a few months ago when she decided, out of the blue, to split up with her partner of 25 years. She feels she’s made the right decision, but five months on can’t decide what to do - she decided to move out and live nearby (their children are 18 and 14 and both at home), but hasn’t done that yet and now thinks she wants to stay in the house - sleeping on the sofa bed in her son’s bedroom. Her ex-partner doesn’t know what to do, and tho I’ve been trying to help them talk about the future, I don’t think she is very clear about what she wants. She used to be very decisive and clear, able to make big decisions easily. Now I’m wondering if her MS might be affecting her thought processes? It’s important to me that I support her, not get impatient, or try and push her into doing anything, or imply to her that she doesn’t know what she’s doing! We live in Spain and they are due for some professional mediation in a couple of weeks which should result in an agreement being drawn up dealing with finances, property, custody of the 14 year old,etc, but she by then she will be expected to have a clear idea about what she wants to do. Up til now, I’ve not thought about the psychological effects of MS, whether this could be affecting her decision-making, and would welcome any advice!

Hi Anon, and thanks for your reply - it, plus reading other threads on the forum, has made me realise that I need to find out more about the psychological effects of MS so I can support my sister better. It also made me think about her relationship and I realise that her partner, although in many ways a lovely man and a good friend of mine, has never been very supportive of her since she was diagnosed with MS and hasn’t made any effort to make allowances for her. When she had her last major episode, I stayed at their place to help out with housework and the kids, and look after her as she was off work for a long time. He insisted on her going with him on a major shopping trip, even tho she was unsteady on her feet, and she didn’t want to let him down. Her speech was affected, and with Spanish being her second language, it took longer to come back than her English - he didn’t have any patience with her at a time when she really needed it. Then he went on holiday with a friend cos he said that with me there he didn’t need to be! I had a good long chat with my sister today and I tried to be more than just a listening post - we looked at ways forward for her and mapped out a plan that should work for her, and the rest of the family, which I think she can present to the mediator. I’ll let her know about the forum, cos she could probably use some more support. I would like to read up more about MS - any suggestions? And thanks again!

Haven’t read …ive had ms 30 years Married, separated,…ok!

Sorry at this news…

Got similar situation…so sorry