Forum

What would you do if......?

Somebody extremely close to you tweeted/face-booked a joke about you, which made specific mention of the slightly embarrasing medications you are on, to upwards of 300 people, only two of whom have ever met you. And then the post gets 11 likes?

Big time!

Ask them why the hell! Demand they remove it, let them know how it affected you. Tell them what sad sad lives they and those 11 likes must have if your meds are of interest. An Extremely close person should be able to deal with your dislike of this, if not its time to put them straight. Kick xxx. Pauline xx

Agree with all Pauline said…I would also consider blocking them and if you are seriously offended you could report the post…remember the 11 likes are from people you don’t know so they are laughing at the joke not you personally. They are just sad little non entities Jan x

If I told you my precise relationship to this person, and her professional status, it would open up a huge can of worms. So I won’t.

Aw! CP, Are you sure this person is a friend? If they are then a few choice words are needed. It is only going to fester otherwise. On Friday at a party I was at someone mentioned I must be coining it because of my disability but because he was drunk I let it go but my family were livid. They are the ones with the problem, we just try and live our lives the best way we can. Mags xx

Oh CP that’s awful, I agree with the others, close friend or not, time to put them in their place.

What on earth do people "like " it for!

Pam x

Hi CP, That is horrible and so cruel. I agree with the others…said person needs a sharpe word. I personally don’t use face book for that very reason. I don’t imagine for one second that she actually set out to hurt you intentionally but even so she needs telling. Haven’t seen you around for a while CP…hope everything else is ok? Nina x

I think I would try and be brave enough to respond to the post and say how much it hurt me. But I’m not sure IF I would be that brave. I would certainly tell the person who posted it how much it had hurt me and how surely they know that that sort of informaton is confidential. It was an incredibly stupid & heartless thing to do. Perhaps people clicked Like because they thought if this was a friend of yours you were ok with that sort of joke… which is why I would be tempted to say I was hurt of Facebook. It will make people realise that it’s not ok to post that kind of thing. Must admit I do limit my facebook friends to family members, actual real-life friends & some people I used to work with. I don’t accept offers to be ‘friend’ of anyone else. So stupid of that person!!! No wonder you’re upset. Pat xx

Heck, I’ll come out and state it: It’s my wife! And she’s a Hospital Consultant (patient confidentiality and all that…)

Been crying all morning and really don’t know what to do.

Jeez CP that makes it a lot worse, what the hell was she thinking!

Sending some (((((hugs)))) to let you know I feel for you, take care.

Pam x

I am so sorry about your distress. The questions I would normally ask or the advice I would normally give simply do not apply because this is a now marriage issue. My sympathies are with you and I sincerely hope you can work this out. Jan.

CP that’s unacceptable and as a retired medical professional I’m really embarrassed that someone could disrespect their oath of patient confidentiality to do it. On hearing that it’s your wife I still don’t agree with what she did but can say that she sees you as a person, not a patient. Her oath isn’t coming into it as she’s not allowed to treat you.

You do need to sit her down and calmly explain how much this has upset you. How would she fell off you broadcasted very personal information about her (think of something very personal, a habit she has etc but don’t get nasty) and I’ll bet she looks at it very differently.

The fact that it reached 300 people and only 11 (obviously warped) people liked it should tell you that your wife isn’t very popular for doing it. She needs to get the post removed and send an apology to everyone but especially you. And let her grovel for a week or two, my daughter swears that the silent treatment is the worst form of punishment known to man as you have to dwell on what you did every time you see the person you upset.

Facebook is a wonderful way of keeping in touch with friends and family but it’s not a personal diary! I really feel for you CP, you must feel so betrayed and alone. Just remember you have friends here who really care. I’d be gutted if my daughter (don’t have any significant other) posted anything about my disability.

Keep us posted, you’re not alone. Take care, you’ve got me all emotional about it, as someone who’s been betrayed in the past.

Cath xx

Aw, goodness CP, No wonder you are so upset but I agree with Jan that it is a marriage issue. Sending you ((( hugs ))) Take care, Mags xx

CP… sit down and talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Ask her why she did it. Maybe she just had absolutely no idea that it would upset you. Maybe there’s something else going on… maybe she’s struggling with something & it’s expressed itself in this way. She’s your wife and you have to get this sorted… out in the open… air it… express exactly how this has made you feel. Try to listen to what she says. There might well be something else behind all of this. Really feel for you CP. It is la betrayal but I think you need to hear what she says and I think you need to be honest in how it has made you feel. Thinking of you, Pat xx

I am sorry for you clucker. Have you spoken to her yet ? Sometimes facebook get sabbotaged. It did for my daughter. i would love to bann it for my teenage kids.

Is you wife finding your dx difficult to handle? i was once told that doctors (and high achievers) are the worst at acceptance of illness to themselves or others close to them.

My husband gets irritated that I cant still do stuff like play mixed foresomes at golf!

Take Care and our thoughts are with you.

Moyna xxx

I am sorry for you clucker. Have you spoken to her yet ? Sometimes facebook get sabbotaged. It did for my daughter. i would love to bann it for my teenage kids.

Is you wife finding your dx difficult to handle? i was once told that doctors (and high achievers) are the worst at acceptance of illness to themselves or others close to them.

My husband gets irritated that I cant still do stuff like play mixed foresomes at golf!

Take Care and our thoughts are with you.

Moyna xxx

Also it is very easy to misunderstand or misread texts or Facebook. Jan x

Also it is very easy to misunderstand or misread texts or Facebook. Jan x

CP, thats awful, I hope you can find a way to tell her how much she has hurt you. Nina x

Firstly; BIG thanks to all you kind folk for your support. Big it up for this forum

And, yes, my wife and I have had a very long and emotional tete a tete about it. Sure, she didn’t mean for me to see it and it was not intended to cause offence. She does not have a malicious bone in her body but, like many, made a serious mis-judgement about what is funny and what is offensive.

We’ll work through it. And there was me thinking that MS was just all about mobility and physical ailments…

Have a good one all.

CP