Sorry this is a Monday morning moan, just beed to get it out of my head, im so upset I feel like ive lost my family, well to be honest im beginning to realise i never had them. My siblings live with their families right next to my parents and Mum & Dad have helped them every day with their kids, and financiallly they are treated as a bottomless pit, I lost my temper earlier in the year and spouted a few home truths about using Mum & Dad, and have been cut off from one brother for a few months now, Ive now just found out after everything I have talked to my parents about, there is a lot of financial trouble with my brother and Mum & Dad bail him out a lot but they didnt know the extent of it, that they have bailed him out again, and im not talking a few hundred.
We dont live very far from them all but no one ever visits, I speak to my Mum most days and our conversations always follow the same pattern, I ring, she tells me how knackerd she is, how many times shes had their kids this week, how she just needs a day off, that she has a raging headache and doesnt know how she’ll have the kids tomorrow, and then she askes me how im feeling.
I always say im fine, even if Im dragging myself around and have rung to ask for help or just a coffee i just cant bring myself to say that im not well, how selfish would I be to add to her physical and emotional baggage. So I have a brother swanning around saying how awesome his business is when he owes thousands through bad desisions and buying tatt and dads just bailed him out again, which is really peeing me off. Ive told them I dont want their money all I would like is a bit of their time and energy, not to help me , just to spend some time with me and my family but all I get is, we feel so guilty, we will spend more time with you soon, its just so busy at the mo and usually ends with sorry must go got to help your brothers. Didnt sleep very well last night and so far today ive sat here trying to find the will to get up and do something, I never had them did I?. I feel very alone today.