Wedding worry :o/

Hi, wonder if anyone can help me? I am getting married in 4 weeks time, in church and am worried about walking down the aisle.
9 weeks ago I had the onset of what I thought was a relapse, but apparently not! neurological rehab specialist I now have to see has told me its not a true ms relapse, what does this mean does it mean I will have numbness, muscle tightness and spasms all the while now? I was diagnosed in 2002 (with problems going back to when i was about 15 now in late 30s and told it was migraine) i am lucky in the fact that major relapses have only happened about every 4 years with minor things in between. I am having difficulty walking and need a stick to stand up, I feel really tightly wrapped up from waist to feet. So worried about walking down aisle have also been told that you have to kneel down, I will never get back up, that’s if my legs will bend in the first place, am probably panicking over nothing just think I need a little bit of reassurance, hubby to be has been brilliant and he assures me he loves me and wants to marry me, no matter what, but walking down the aisle terrifies me.
I am not on any medication other than laxatives, they think bowel problems may be causing leg problems, I don’t understand why, have had xrays, 3 weeks ago still awaing results! maybe someone could enlighten me and could it ease off in four weeks, am starting to stress and know thats not good, thought I would be ok by now!

Hi Cally,

I can't really help with the medical side of things - what they actually mean by "not a true relapse".  I don't know if it means your symptoms are permanent, or, on the contrary, that they are MORE likely to get better!  You will have to ask them to clarify.

But as for the kneeling down bit, I'm sure it does NOT invalidate your vows if you didn't.  It's your wedding!  Can't you have a word with the vicar, or whoever is presiding, and explain the problem, and ask that you be blessed standing up, or seated?

It can't be unique in the history of weddings that one or both parties would find it difficult to kneel.  What happens when elderly folk get married, which is increasingly common these days?  Do they all have to kneel on the floor?  I think not!  Should be easy to get round this one, as long as you plan up-front.  Won't be the first time it's ever happened, and vicar should know what to do. ;)

Many congratulations, by the way!  I'm sure it will go fine.



Hi Cally

I am getting married in November and have the same worries. Please speak to your vicar/priest/registrar or whoever is marrying you - thats what I did and they re-assured me no end! If you cant kneel for example - you just bow your head. They quite literally have an answer for everything.  At the end of the day it is your day and they want you to be comfortable and happy and I am sure will do whatever needs doing to help you out.

All the very best and have a great wedding day!

Cally, you need a stick to stand - what do you need to walk?  Somebody I know with MS who needs a stick to walk got married recently and decorated her stick with ribbons to co-ordinate with her dress/bouquet, that might be worth thinking about.  Also, do you actually need to walk down the aisle, I know it's tradition, but is it possible for you to swap places with your groom for that particular bit so you are waiting for him and he comes to you? I know it would be unconventional and not really what you're planning, but you will have learned by now that we have to change and adapt some things to make them easier for us, just an idea

Luisa x 

Hi Kally

Firstly many congratulations.  Its natural to be worried before a wedding and the stress is probably impacting on you more becasue of your MS.  So try to relax and let events take there wonderful course, so that you and your husband to be have a great day with lots of happy days ahead. 

Best wishes, Mary


Hi, thanks for all your comments and suggestions. In answer to asking wether symptoms would stay or improve ms nurse just said she didn’t know, am feeling quite abandoned by them at the moment, flurry of activity to begin with, now nothing and no answers! I know it’s unpredictable but some sort of answers, reassurance or medication for the terrible spasms would be good!
I need a stick at the moment have already had friends offering to decorate one for me, could really do with 2 at moment but coordination is terrible on one side and can’t even hold on to my dad as he is in a wheelchair! have also had suggestion of sticking me to a skateboard and just pushing me up the aisle :o/ but we are going to see the vicar next week so will ask him I was scared of asking him anything like that, I find vicars quite intimidating but suppose they are there to help. Think I am just worrying the closer it gets!
Thanks everyone
Caroline x

When I married my ex husband I had the most terrible relapse just before, I ended up getting put in a spare bed at work until someone was able to come and look after me (my hubby to be was in scotland at the time), I'm sure stress contributed as I was also selling my house, giving up my job and moving to somewhere I didn't know.  I was going to say hold on to the person who is giving you away.  But as with lots of things its your big day and the adrenalin will definitely help you get through it, even with dodgy stiff legs etc your want to do things as you dreamed of will really help you pull the cat out of the bag, even if you spend the next week or two really regretting pushing yourself so hard.

It is possible that if your bowel is impacted then it could be pressing on nerves that will give you sciatica type pain and of course being bunged up can make you feel terrible.

I'm getting married again in 3 weeks time, only booked it last week!  Oh and we have just accepted an offer on our house.  I suddenly realised how much stuff I've still to organise (and we are not having guest, just the witnesses).  No one really knows about it.  Its also my birthday on the day as well (just so if he forgets he can get majorly into trouble).

If you’re likely to need two sticks on the day, practice now - I use two sticks and it took me a couple of weeks to get the hang of the different rhythm. Could you wheel your dad, and use his chair as a sort of zimmer? He could hold your sticks for you until you need them?

I decorate my sticks - I get battery powered fairy lights from Ebay and fake flowers from Hobbycraft, they have some lovely little sparkly bits too.

Skateboard sounds interesting, it certainly would be an experience!

Calm down, you’ll be fine

Luisa x