Well, I was in a right state before the appointment - anxiety totally out of control.
I was in the loo at least four times (No. 2s), even though I’ve been off my food. Sorry, I know this is too much info, but it doesn’t seem to make any difference to how much comes out.
I was shaky in the consultation, so that he now thinks I have tremor, which I don’t, except when very anxious.
On the positive side, he was very pleased with my physical examination overall.
But he seemed genuinely gutted about the threatened redundancy, and how stressed I am with that. Sat there with his head in his hands, and said he doesn’t know what to suggest. He said there is no test he can give me which would PROVE my work performance is impaired, and that they’ve therefore been acting in a discriminatory way. He said he’d only be able to prove cognitive issues if they were quite pronounced (which they’re not).
He did think it was quite understandable that I’ve been distracted and NOT devoting my full attention to the job, given my relatively recent diagnosis. He didn’t think it was surprising at all that I’d not been volunteering for “new challenges” or training courses - which seems to have gone against me. But although he thought it was all quite obvious to anyone with commonsense, it’s not something he can medically prove.
He was very worried about how stressed I am - more worried than about the MS, I think - and was trying to nudge me in the direction of anti-depressants - AGAIN.
Well, I think I must have tried every one going, before being diagnosed - the trendy new ones, AND the old faithfuls. None of them helped at all, and the trendy new ones made me feel dreadful. I swore never again.
He wants me to cut down baclofen, which he thinks is causing the fatigue. I don’t think it is, because I’ve NEVER felt weak or drowsy with it. I am on a lot (60mg), but now I’m anxious about cutting that down, because I know I get the spasticity and cramps straight back!
Oh, and I’ve been told yet again that my aches and pains are unconnected with MS.
Well, this is ridiculous! They are my worst symptom, by far, but I’m repeatedly told they’ve got nothing to do with MS. I’ve had full rheumatology screening…twice - which failed to find anything else the matter with me, so why have I got pain all the time from NOTHING, if it isn’t the MS? Who does deal with musculo-skeletal pain, if the neurologist says it’s unconnected, but Rheumatology say they can’t find anything? It seems crazy to me that even now we know I’m ill, and what with, my symptoms are being dismissed as unrelated.
I’ve not really come home any happier. It’s good that the physical examination was encouraging, but I’ve got nowhere re the pain, no suggestions at all on the work front, and am being steered in the direction of ADs.