Forum

unpleasant experience

I was out with my mother earlier today. She couldn't get parked in the disabled bays outside the shop we both wanted to go to so she parked in another set of disabled bays in front of another shop just along from where we were going. My legs are a bit rubbish today so I was even slower than usual. My mother was ahead of me and was about at the door of the Argos store when this woman got out of her car (in disabled bay) and immediately spoke to my mum, asking her what the problem was then immediately telling my mum she had a disabled badge! She was quite nasty to my mum and accused mum of 'staring at her'. My mother said she was sorry for 'looking' at the woman and the woman walked off into the Argos shop. Of course when we went in, who did we stand behind in the queue!? She sort of apologised and said her daughter has been disabled since she was 14. The woman did walk in an awkward way.

I haven't been 'disabled' myself for very long but when I was okay, I would never abuse the bays and neither would my mother. Indeed, we always remarked if someone parked there without a badge. But there is no denying it: we always notice if there is a car in a disabled space without a badge.

I just wanted to share this. Are we the only ones who look?! I can't imagine we are! I can't say we've had anyone question our use of the bays since I always have my badge and it's fairly obvious I have a problem. I just feel a bit upset about my mother being verbally abused like that - I couldn't do that to anyone!

I do look, especially if the disabled bays are full, and if I see somebody getting into a car without a badge on it, they get a good glare, I'm sure they don't notice.  I don't say anything to these people because they may be like me and forget to display the badge sometimes (mine lives on my sun visor and I need to take it down to put it on the dash to display it - for personal reasons, I don't want to display it all the time) - disabilities come in all shapes and sizes and are not always visible.  I have been shouted at before for parking in a disabled bay and then (despite displaying my badge) not looking "disabled enough" to warrant using one of those spaces.  I'm currently using a walking stick, so haven't had this sort of abuse for a while.

Luisa x

I'm sorry your mother experienced this behaviour.  The problem is that not everyone who is disabled looks disabled and so it can be difficult it you don't but are parking in a disabled bay.  But that doesn't give anyone the right to be nasty to anyone else.

I wish I could look as if I wasn't disabled and I'm pleased for those people who don't - unfortunately I'm a permanent wheelchair user now so don't get comments anymore - but there was a time... now long ago when I was more fortunate even though still disabled.

Give a big ((((HUG))) to your mother and treat yourself to something nice and forget the ignorant person who abused you both as they are not worthy of your time or thoughts.

Love, Mary

 

I used to get all sorts of remarks and sometimes abuse from people over the years, because i dint look disabled at all, so when i parked in a disabled bay,i got told off ,sometimes it upset me, sometimes i got angry, and sometimes i just laughed,depending on how rubbish i felt on the day, i used my badge,because i have had trouble walking more than a few steps,even though i didnt look disabled, by the time i got back to my car, i was ready for collapsing,and very nearly did quite a few times,i dont get that as much now, because i use a w/c pretty much everytime i go out now,BUT what i get now is people staring at me becasue i use a w/c as if i have 2 heads,lol,i have to develop a couldnt care less attitude, because some peoples reactions  can be quite hurtful,but  i try to not have eye contact with people,when i am in my w/c and that  does help.

 

Ignore them,they are not worth it,and if it upsets you, tell them so.

 

jaki  xx