Hi all… I’m 42 and was diagnosed last June, been suffering for 2 years now and been going through major issues with my other half… me knowing what I’ve got -MS and him not wanting to admit it.

Anyway after last year’s diagnosis where I told him he didnt have to stay if he didnt want to… he told me he married me for better or worse.

I have major confidence issues and believe something happened previously and want some answers, which he wont give and know he’s told me if I cant change he’s off… do I just say nothing and let things lie and if he has done something, decide whether I want to know or not. Its just i’ve got this gut feeling… and its eating into me … help anyone???

You ought to get an objective assessment of whether your suspicion is justified - Is there really a case for him to answer, or are you being unreasonably suspicious? Maybe you could get this by discussing it with a doctor as it is causing such emotional distress.

I read your email and I don’t know you or your relationship. Not only that but I cannot offer any advice - however, you are not alone (by any means) - I’ve been married circa 15 years and the same happened to me - do what you feel like - treat the MS - it won’t change (I’ve had the MS for ~14 years) - I felt like this and almost gave up but the more that you try and fight it, the worse it gets. Maybe talk to your doctor (My Doctor has a brother who has MS - he ‘freely’ admits that it is ‘impossible’ to diagnose ‘accurately’) - Neither you (or anyone else) can diagnose it 100% . Sorry, I can’t be of more help but I ‘know’ how you feel. - ‘confused’.

Best of luck,


Just wanted to thank u all for ur replies… had a good long discussion with my other half and I think I need to just get on with my life and live it to the full, instead of spending time, probably looking for something that isnt there… what would I do without this site x!!

So glad you were able to talk it through - This is - if you are able to - the best thing. Men - on the whole - are not good a t expressing their feelings. My OH never listens to anything anyone says - he thinks he knows it all - makes life very hard for - not just me - but my daughter/friends. Keep talking - don’t hide your feelings as they do seem to fester and make mountains out of mole-hills. And don’t blame your MS for all that happens. l have had SPMS for 30yrs - and l admit that l actually felt, for years, sorry for my family that l had lumbered them with this problem - and have spent all this time blaming myself and trying to make up to them the fact that they have lost the person l was.

This situation has turned me into a ‘fighter’ - which is probably not a bad thing.