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Ultimatum

Hi all.... I'm 42 and was diagnosed last June, been suffering for 2 years now and been going through major issues with my other half..... me knowing what I've got -MS and him not wanting to admit it.

Anyway after last year's diagnosis where I told him he didnt have to stay if he didnt want to... he told me he married me for better or worse.

I have major confidence issues and believe something happened previously and want some answers, which he wont give and know he's told me if I cant change he's off..... do I just say nothing and let things lie and if he has done something, decide whether I want to know or not.  Its just i've got this gut feeling... and its eating into me ..... help anyone????

 

You ought to get an objective assessment of whether your suspicion is justified - Is there really a case for him to answer, or are you being unreasonably suspicious? Maybe you could get this by discussing it with a doctor as it is causing such emotional distress.

I read your email and I don't know you or your relationship. Not only that but I cannot offer any advice - however, you are not alone (by any means) - I've been married circa 15 years and the same happened to me - do what you feel like - treat the MS - it won't change (I've had the MS for ~14 years) - I felt like this and almost gave up but the more that you try and fight it, the worse it gets. Maybe talk to your doctor (My Doctor has a brother who has MS - he 'freely' admits that it is 'impossible' to diagnose 'accurately') - Neither you (or anyone else) can diagnose it 100% . Sorry, I can't be of more help but I 'know' how you feel. - 'confused'.

Best of luck,

Marcus.

Just wanted to thank u all for ur replies...... had a good long discussion with my other half and I think I need to just get on with my life and live it to the full, instead of spending time, probably looking for something that isnt there.... what would I do without this site x!!

So glad you were able to talk it through - This is - if you are able to - the best thing. Men - on the whole - are not good a t expressing their feelings. My OH never listens to anything anyone says - he thinks he knows it all - makes life very hard for - not just me - but my daughter/friends. Keep talking - don't hide your feelings as they do seem to fester and make mountains out of mole-hills. And don't blame your MS  for all that happens. l have had SPMS for 30yrs - and l admit that l actually felt, for years, sorry for my family that l had lumbered them with this problem - and have spent all this time blaming myself and  trying to make up to them the fact that they have lost the person l was.

This situation has turned me into a 'fighter' - which is probably not a bad thing.

F.