Forum

Today the fog lifted

Today the thick black fog (depression) lifted…ever so slightly but just enough for me to remember who i am and why I have to be happy and keep going…don’t get me wrong I never give up I keep playing the “Glad game” (Pollyanna) but today as went out again to Chester with Frazer and Ben I actually felt happy, its funny because it was pooring down an poor Frazer he hates the rain and hates smelling of wet dog but he was actually happy to walk beside my chair its funny, for a dog he gives of so many signals you’d almost think he was human…I think he’s so tuned into me that he knows when his Mum is feeling blue. I can’t say why iv’e felt this way whether the fact that I feel I should be happy now i’m almost a Grandma, or even that I should be happy that its a beautiful day…perhaps that added pressure makes me feel guilty, but today the black fog has lifted and even coming back on the train I got chatting to another wheelchair user…a lovely lady she’d been in an accident 7 years ago and had a spinal injury, but she was so positive and full of all the adventurous spirit that I aspire to… it actually felt as if everyone else on the train had the disability an we were the “normals”

Michelle x

1 Like

What a lovely post Michelle. Cheered me up.

So glad the fog has lifted a bit. I always find that when I actually admit to myself that I’m depressed it’s the beginning of feeling better. Even if you can’t say it to someone else… but of course you can always say it to Frazer.

Lovely that you met another Wheelchair Warrior on the train! They turn up just when you need them!

Lots of love… Dickie says meow to Frazer,

Pat xx

2 Likes

Thats good Michelle,its so good when we feel a bit brighter,ive been feeling really down too as you know,but still waiting for my fog to lif a little, but im sure it will do soon,we had my little grandaughter today for tea,and she was so good,i feel exhausted now but a happy exhausted i am sure you know what i mean.Bet you cant wait for your twins,such exciting times for you all,being a grandmas the best thing ever.

J x

1 Like

Glad today was good Michelle, onwards and upwards.

Pam x

Michelle,

So glad that you are feeling better Michelle. It is very hard when the black fog falls. I have just emerged myself. Feeling better and brighter makes such a diference to everything doesn’t it?

Keep going

Anne

x

1 Like

Hi Michelle.

Lovely post. Its the good days that makes everything worthwhile. It doesn’t take much. My grandson took a few wee tottering steps yesterday and it made me happy all day.

Mags xx

1 Like

Hi Michelle,

So good to read your post, I’m really pleased you’re feeling brighter…long may it last!

Take care,

Nina xx

2 Likes

Thanks Pat,

I hate feeling sad, it completely flattens me but your right in fact i remember at cbt Emma counsellor saying sometimes the best thing is to accept it and allow ourselves to have a sad day its part of grieving for what we’ve lost…problem is i feel so guilty too like i have to constantly prove to myself that I can rise above it all.

Frazer says Woof Woof to Dickie xx Michelle xx

1 Like

Thanks Mrs J,

I hope your fog lifts too…Your little granddaughter sound wonderful ., …I can’t wait for mine.

Michelle x

1 Like

Thanks Pam just have to keep picking ourselves up again …one step forward two back, oh well, good job we have each other this forum really helps.

Michelle x

1 Like

Thanks Anne, I hate the black fog feeling its so exhausting in fact suffocating is how i feel when it comes over me …but better today.

Michelle x

1 Like

Thank you for your message Mags,…Ah… he sounds fantastic, i bet you were smiling all day.

Michelle x

1 Like

Thanks Nina, I hope you are okay… yes i’m feeling a bit better…think iv’e done too much recently …Super woman crashed!!!

Michelle x

2 Likes

Michelle I think we all forget we’re not super woman at times and try to do too much.

Sadly it always ends up biting us in the bum!

Hope you’re still on form today, take care and be kind to yourself,

Nina xx

2 Likes

Good for you Michelle, and remember Frazer (and the kids and hubby of course) need you as much as you need them xxxx

2 Likes