Forum

Time to be honest

Hi Everyone. Sorry to sound so meloncholy but Im p***** off! Things are rapidly getting worse, far worse & Im absolutely paralysed as to stop it. I know there are far more out there that are far worse than me but bloody hell I cant see it right now!!! I know I sound really selfish but Im fed up! This MS malarky is taking the p***!!! I have never felt as bad as this!!! Ive had a burst ulcer but it got better, this isnt, its going to get worse!!! Am angry, very, very angry. Im fed up of explaining symtoms, fed up of pretending, fed up of lying, to cover up & to ME. Time I sorted it, denial isnt good. Sick of the what ifs & what I cant help, really trying, so sorry if Ive upset anyone, sure we all feel like this from time to time, just scared Tracey xx

tracey

have sent u a pm-night-catch up tomorrow.

ellie x

Hi Tracey, I’m pretty new on here but I just wanted to say I’m sure you haven’t upset anyone…well not me that’s for sure! It’s a rubbish disease and you’re right I’m sure we all have times like this, I know I certainly do. Wish I could help but all I can do I send you best wishes for better times to come. ng x

Hello,

I’m sorry ms does take it out of us even when we think its getting better.

You haven’t upset anyone, i imagine many of us have and will feel “out of control” with having ms. Its such a pain in the bum!

Hope things settle down for you soon,

Darren

Hi Tracey, I’m going through the same questions myself. Why pretend to make other people feel better, My daughter who is 34 saying well Mum there are other people worse off, Our my friends and family saying if your going to fall, sit down first, My poor hubby who’s 61 having to work full time because this Sh…ty Goverment says I’m only worth £59.00 a week carers allowance to look after me , when it would cost them thousands to put me into a home to care for me ( that’s if you can find one open , that they haven’t closed with cut backs ) I’m fed up being a lab rat, And the next person to phone me saying they have. Found a cure , I will self distruct . You have every right to be. Angry, I don’t know the answers , I only wish I did, Rant. Over, Take care, Love and hugs Margaret,

Hi Margaret, I`m with you on the carers allowance thingy.

My hubby had tirelessly looked after me on his own for 11 years. Now we have help for 16 hours and 1 sleepover a week, so he can have a much needed rest.

When he was 50, he took voluntary redundancy and early retirement from his firm, as they were re-locating and down-sizing. His plan was to enjoy some time off, then seek out a new career after a year.

he found that new career alright…being my full time carer!

In August this year, he turns 65…gonna get his state pension. he will lose the carers allowance, will he stop caring for me?..not a chance!

luv Pollx

Hi Tracey, I just wanna echo what the others have said…do not apologise for having a much needed vent. You`re doing it at the place where countless others feel the same.

Look after yourself. At least the nights are getting lighter.

luv Pollx

I am not a fan of the ‘Cheer up, there’s always someone worse off,’ school of thought. If that worked, it would cheer up everybody, however unfortunate, except for that one poor luckless bugger somewhere who actually IS worse off than everybody else in the whole world.

So knickers to that.

I am sorry you are having a rotten time. Feeling low is horrible, but it’s nothing to apologise for. I hope you get to see the world in colour again soon.

Alison

x

To Everyone a big thank you! All this has been kept locked up so long! Im not a crier, not in public anyway! just felt so flat. Had hoped it wouldnt get worse, denial, p***** off it has, anger, now I need acceptance. I will get there, just a form of grief. You are the only ones that can & does understand, feel I can say it as it is. Bottom line is Im scared, my optimism will return!!! You really are priceless all of you. Hoping you are all as good as we can be!!! Lots of love Tracey xx

Sorry your feeling this way but unfortunately I can’t say anything to help as I feel pretty much the snd at the minute. I’m sick of putting a front on for everyone else and for the past few days all I want to do is cry. I just can’t see the silver lining ATM but I know it will pass eventually x

Hi Everyone. Feeling a tad better, did sleep last night! Sleep deprivation really does make things a whole lot worse, Im slowly beginning to look forward, thanks for all the kindness & support, special thanks to Ellie, did me the world of good!!! Tracey xx

Hi again. I`m so glad things are looking better for you now.

luv Pollx

sometimes i feel like having a big long session of filtered words is all i can do to smile. there are so many halfeaten biscuit faces that i would just love to smother in ketchup tie them in a nappy and throw them out to sea. it’s a shambles. the way the folk who see fot to rate what life is worth with not one iota of how filtered word it can be. humour of an off the wall sort is my only sanity at the moment. to those who are suffering, inane comments like there are folk worse off is just an insult. it is in fact okay to not be okay. to not want to carry weak otherwise healthy folk cos they’re too chicken to see the truth. we are strong, or we were before we had to put on brave faces. yes life could be worse of course it could but right now this life sucks mouldy cheese with 6 flies and a duck on top! and if i have to wear it on a onsie and do my shopping in it. i will!

My “mate” said today “lifes a bitch & then you die” well the bitch is fighting back, despair is now defiance. How dare this p*** me off! Im back Tracey xx

My partner Jan has MS,she is completely wheelchair bound now, plus has lost the sight in her right eye which was originally her best one. We had 2 phonecalls a couple of SUNDAY’s ago from DWP regarding PIPs, I cannot believe they we’re employing staff to work weekends, at some fantastic hourly rate, to tell us to fill the form in before 7th Feb 2013. Anybody else had similiar and on the same day? Widdy