***The Queen would never.....***Only contains smelly nuts, well no nuts at all really...just humour me with these daft titles***

Everyday living
1

As Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses.

They continue on towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire.

The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses.

The fart shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Obama: “Mr President, please accept my regrets… I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control.”

Obama, always trying to be “Presidential” replied: “Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought… Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.”

2

I love it!

3

H,you’re back with a classic on her Majesty’s Birfday.She’d like that and her OH would wet himself. That’s usually the outcome of a good’un on here,

S xx

4

The blues may have lost at the Stadium of Light, Suarez gritted his teeth to score an undeserved equaliser and Lancashire are plying their trade ib the second level of the County Championship but jokes like that can make a man’s weekend.

Many thanks, Steve.

5

You are very welcome indeed.

It kind of echo’s my hobby, only mine’s not even close to being that posh and Kaja beats my efforts everytime she lifts her tail…I’m not kidding, you could cut hers with a knife…the hobby isn’t passing wind by the way, it’s carriage driving.

Gone a bit to far there I think, oh well, what’s typed, is typed…

6

H,maybe you should try lifting your tail the next time you do whatever it is you’re not talking about.

S xx

7

And this on her Majesty`s birthday!

Have a good day ma`am!

luv Pollx