***Footy funny***May contain nuts***

For those who do not listen to the ‘Today’ programme on Radio 4, this is British humour at its best.

Right at the end of a programme recently, there was a discussion about the obscene cost of entry into Premiership football games – ‘the cheapest price of £60 and £100 per game is not uncommon’.

An older chap being interviewed said he could recall many years ago arriving at the turnstiles, (it was probably West Ham United or Queen’s Park Rangers), to be told, “That will be 10 Quid Mate”.

“What!”, the old chap said, “I could get a woman for that!”

The guy on the turnstile retorted, “Not for 45 minutes each way you wouldn’t, and a brass band in the Interval!”

As the pips sounded on the hour, the presenter John Humphries, could be heard in the background in stitches.

Hi Hazel

Love it, thanks.


Thank you Pam.


Well that’s you back then H. Oh Megalol. Creatures all alright? Machinery? Any word on E?

S xx

Brilliant Hazel, welcome back. xx

Hello dear sir,

Bells is ‘managing’ shall we say, she has been posting on here as well. She is a trooper, but has a very steep climb to go yet.

I’m going to give her a call soon, maybe you could try, she may answer now.

The creatures are fine & we have another car, a Merc for Robert…well it does 50mpg+ which is better than the RRover & it means I have the RR during the winter for the neds…


Thanks for the update H.I should ‘man up’ and E-mail you,but it reminds me of the good old days when there were hundreds of us conducting our on-line lives in pubic. Perish the thought there were to be a crossed line and I ended up butting in on the conversation between Hinge+Bracket.

That Merc sounds strange to the point of, “Do you need a visit from me and Clarkson?”. We both approve of you having the Range Ruster. I’m up to some of my old tricks on the rail roads,so anything is possible when Hells Bells is up and aboot.

Laters, S xx

And who might ‘Hinge & Bracket’ be…

Listen Mr Clackson approved of this particular Merc & with the Mpg it returns I don’t care… nah, nah!



Take your pick.I’ve messaged Herself with the appaling news that I should be visiting when she’s well enough,then that could put her back years. I was supposed to meet the Ellster at one of the lunch time soirees in Aud Reekie 3.5 years ago, and then you and yours,but there was a snow flake spotted somewhere. Then there was a tall, lazy, anti-social girl. Didn’t you talk to her once,or is that a wiring fault? No excuse now.

As for Jezzer,don’t forget he’s divorced now so he’s endorsed the Merc in attempt to impress a bird

S xx

hello Wb and H

yes-i got your threatening email steve-would be great to see you. i still have to thank you for talking me into joining pof!!!

yes-am getting slowly stronger. can dress myself now but still cant write or knit or use knife and fork! pal from school here for a week to help out with kids-she has streamlined my kitchen cupboards and is now making tea

i will see u soon i hope H

ellie xxx

All I will say is in a warped way I am glad Bellsy can’t use a knife!

Only kidding small fiesty one…

Steve if you started talking sense I would really start to worry about you!

See you both soon I hope…Ellsbells sooner, maybe next w.end if things work out.


E,since when do you need K+F to eat chocolate?

S xx

ah-rumbled! if someone puts a bit in ma gob i can sook on that fine

e x

Are we still talking chocolate! I’m not popping through your door & suprising you again only to find you like the vicar of Dibly on the floor surrounded by wrappers…


H,I’m apalled. What else goes in a lassie’s mouth and causes instant pleasure?..The key fob to an Aston Martin as she piles the shopping into the boot, perhaps.

S xx